*–Yes, this is lower than I was considering while being filmed. But upon reflection, I think the movie fails on multiple fronts. As a glimpse into the history of psychoanalysis, it fails because I think I know less about psychoanalysis now than I did before going into the cinema. As a glimpse into the life of Jung, it fails because he’s such a dick I feel like I wasted my time glimpsing it. And as a cohesive narrative it fails because of the weird jumps I relate in my review. And as a triangle (of some kind) between the three main characters, it fails because Jung is not just a prick–but an out-of-left-field whackjob prick–that I wish one third of the triangle would have wandered out of the film and thus made it a lot more enjoyable. Anyway, just wanted to explain.
Hello, all. Wolven here–and I’m bringing you a curatorial collection of some recent or upcoming events, films, books, and articles which trip the edge of the strange and downright weird. I hope to make a kind of regular feature, but I make no promises; only vague assurances which leave you to wake, uncertain, in the dark hours before dawn, sweating, wondering at the unknowable capriciousness of the cruel mocking laughter of a seemingly adversarial universe, only to realise that you, yes you—
Sorry. Got away from myself for a second, there. Anyway, let’s get started, shall we?
When is this coming here? I really need to see this.
There’s a slew of stuff that comes out all the time. People want you to buy it. Should you? I’ll try to help.
Synapse has released three titles in their Minoru Kawasaki Collection. Who is Minoru Kawasaki? I knew of his work before I knew his name: since he’s the guy who brought you Calamari Wrestler, the…well, exactly what it sounds like: a squid who’s a professional wrestler. So you can appreciate the fact that his work is completely…you know, mental. Even if you can’t now, you will once we talk about these three titles. First up, the title Executive Koala is a bit of a giveaway: it’s the tale of a giant koala who’s suspected of murder. His boss is a giant rabbit. Oh, and there’s a giant frog who runs a store nearby. Other than that, things are fairly normal. You know, except for the whole slasher element. The DVD comes with making-of material. Then we have The Rug Cop, which is not a crime procedural set in Clive Barker‘s Weaveworld, it’s actually about a cop who uses his toupee as an offensive weapon. No, seriously. And the other cops he works with have additional equally silly traits. And this DVD actually has a decent array of stuff: a making-of featurette, press conference footage, and an extended introduction to the film. And lastly, there’s the best title I’ve heard in a long time: The World Sinks Except Japan. You know, these titles just get more self-explanatory as well roll along. Basically, all the land masses in the world–but Japan–sink. And so all the survivors are crowded onto the island of Japan, with plenty of crazed American immigrants on hand to present culture clashes and hijinks. This comes with a making-of, an intro, and an audio commentary. Should you buy them? Well, they’re not everybody’s cup of tea, to be sure. They are, after all, wacky Japanese movies and the DVDs revel in this. I think they’re worth watching at least by those who appreciate cult cinema or just films that are completely fucked in the head. So they’re worth a rental at the least. And at $22.49 (current price on Amazon), you might want to ensure they’ve got a rewatch factor before you buy. (Click here to buy Executive Koala on DVD from Amazon; Click here to buy Rug Cop on DVD from Amazon; Click here to buy World Sinks Except Japan on DVD from Amazon.)
So St. Patrick’s Day was a recent thing and to celebrate the evening, we watched this stand-up DVD from Tommy Tiernan, Something Mental. Beats what Chazz did. Took him forever to get that green out of his hair. Anyway, the set is excellent. Tiernan is an Irish dynamo, and it’s easy to see how he stays so fit, the bastard, jumping and leaping about the stage as he does. Two things strike me about Tiernan’s style. First, he pushes jokes to their limit and then beyond because they come back around and are funny again. Second, he gets this amused look on his face because he’s enjoying himself–he knows what he’s up to and that it’s working. There are stories of him coming home from school to his psycho mother, his philosophy of drinking, and a terrifying but hilarious incident where he tried giving and receiving sex that involved the arse. There’s a CD version of this too, and it’s out from Image Entertainment. Should you buy it? If you’re a fan, sure. But otherwise, at least rent it. (Click here to buy the DVD from Amazon.)
Trey Parker and Matt Stone seem to be making a renewed assault on the hearts and minds of the world these days. They just released their new online vid jukebox of South Park episodes, SouthParkStudios.com, and I think…what, isn’t the show renewed through 2047 or something? Anyway, lest it be lost in the shuffle, we bring to your attention the madness that is Imaginationland, available from Paramount and Comedy Central in an uncensored director’s cut edition. The gist is that there is a place called Imaginationland, and basically everything we’ve conjured up from our imaginations is there, good and bad. But terrorists are mucking about with the scenery and cause our collective imaginations to go batshit crazy. This was originally three episodes, now cut together and complete with some storyboards, commentary by Trey and Matt (which is a massive amount of commentary for the two of them) and two bonus episodes. South Park fans will want to at least give it a rental for the commentary, even if they caught the episodes (or watched them online on the new site, natch). Completists will want to own. (Click here to buy the DVD from Amazon.)
Written by: Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Bill Nighy, Jack Davenport
Review: Was it as good as the first movie? No, not quite. Was it a two-and-a-half hour ad for the third movie? Yes. Was it a kickass ride as its namesake implies? But of course. Nighy can do some serious acting from under all the prosthetics. And I want a pet Kraken now.
Time: 12 seconds.
Written by: Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio, based on a story by Stuart Beattie, Elliott, Rossio & Jay Wolpert, which was based in turn on the Walt Disney theme park ride
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Pryce
My Advice: Matinee.
Will Turner (Bloom) has had an interesting life. As a young boy, he was spared from the ocean by Governor Swann (Pryce) and his daughter after the ship he was travelling on had been kagged by pirates. He’s grown up to become the apprentice who actually knows more about smithy than the actual smith, and also to have a tremendous thing for the girl who spotted him and had him pulled from the sea–who has grown up to be Natalie Portman clone Keira Knightley. Trouble is, he is seen as an apprentice smith and beneath the governor’s daughter. Instead, the new commodore (Jack Davenport) is seen as a better suitor. Ah, but there’s a snag you see: Knightley, whose character name is actually Elizabeth, took a gold amulet from around Will’s neck after his rescue. She’s kept it all these years and through circumstances beyond her control, it sends out a call…one that will bring a cadre of cursed pirates out of legend and after her hide.