Tag - naughty bits

Cupid Caught Napping

Black Phoenix Wants You Hot And Sweaty

I get it. I know why St. Valentine’s Day is in February. It is an example of the Catholic program of replacing pagan holidays with their own. In this case, replacing the Roman festival of Lupercalia with St. Valentine’s Day. The...

Showgirls Blu-Ray Cover Art

Win Showgirls on Blu-ray!

Apparently Showgirls is fifteen years old this year. We’re feeling pretty old just thinking about that. To celebrate the film’s quinceañera, Fox is releasing a 15th Anniversary “Sinsation” edition of the film on Blu...

Extreme Violence, Naughty Tentacles, and...

Once again, it’s Valentine’s Day. The day where mutant naked winged toddlers come to terrorize the masses, their arrows coated with powerful psychotropics that will turn a rational person into a baby-talking moron who buys...

Sex Quickies: Early X-mas Shopping

There’s a lot of sexy content floating about. I got these little news items and reviews and I didn’t want to try to fill out whole posts on them. So I figured I’d make one big thick post. Just think of it as little nibbles...

Nerdcore Calendar Will Scare You...

Last year, I wrote up a Ministry Quickie on the Nerdcore 2009 calendar. A pin-up calendar for nerds, there were twelve beautiful models in sci-fi environments showing us their “hardware,” if you know what I mean. So I was curious...

Green Porno 3: Sperm Balloons and Anchovy...

I think we can all agree that Isabella Rossellini is one hot dish. She always impresses with her creativity, her enthusiasm, and her performances in front of a camera. Especially when she is simulating sex with many and sundry animals. Yep...

Ministry Bulletin – The Joydick: Con...

As you may have noticed, the staff here at Needcoffee have certain specific areas that we report on. Widge has caffeine and zombies, Dindrane has anime and animals attacking humans, and Tuffley has music and fabulous haberdashery. So I...

Ministry Bulletin: Green Porno Goes Blue

Isabella Rossellini is insatiable. She just can’t get enough. It seems that depicting the sexy action of the insect kingdom for our voyeuristic delight wasn’t enough to satisfy her. She’s going to show us all the hot...

Why A Cupid When You Have Black Phoenix

Ah, Valentine’s day. A day where we celebrate romance and love. Winged cupids fly through the air delivering arrows of amore to couples running through fields of flowers to the lilting tones of violins… Oh fuck this shit...

Masturbation May Kill You! Or It May Not.

Widge barges into my office here in our underwater lair off the coast of Iowa. He’s in a panic. Not that unusual, he probably thinks Skynet is trying to play Missile Command for real or something. Especially when he comes in screaming...