Your Weekend Justice #125: James Spader, Acting Gristle

It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. It’s the podcast that creates verbs where they are proper nouns just to see if anyone’s paying attention. Usually they are, but they couldn’t care less. This podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

[audio:http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/www.needcoffee.com/podcasts/wjustice080511.mp3]

Robert Mitchum

Agenda:

  • Irish sex
  • A lack of understanding of James Spader
  • Defining lesbianism
  • Alec Guinness disappoints as a Jedi
  • Hobo weddings
  • Hobo catch and release program
  • When steampunk is too labor intensive
  • Alcohol report and lack of Leigh
  • Porn testimonials
  • Free inspection!
  • Exorbation!
  • James Franco is not a verb
  • The problem with kissing Sean Penn
  • Fighting Viggo
  • Rock Lobster Fail
  • Alternate spellings and pronunciations
  • Portkey parties
  • Rowling vs. Martin
  • Harry Potter and Sherlock Holmes
  • House of M and Age of Apocalypse
  • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:38:51+00:00 August 5th, 2011|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|11 Comments

    Win Bad Boys on Blu-Ray!

    Bad Boys Blu-Ray

    Well, it’s not the Will Smith/Martin Lawrence version, no. Instead, it’s the 1983 film starring a recently post-Fast Times Sean Penn. It’s out from Lionsgate–here’s what they have to say for themselves:

    Sean Penn is Mick O’Brien, a young Chicago street thug torn between a life of petty crime and the love of his girlfriend (Sheedy). But when the heist of a local drug dealer (Esai Morales) goes tragically wrong, Mick is sentenced to a brutal juvenile prison where violence is a rite of passage and respect is measured in vengeance. Can a bad boy on the edge of salvation find the heart to survive a manhood on the verge of murder? Reni Santoni, Clancy Brown and Eric Gurry costar in this gritty drama that sealed Sean Penn’s reputation as the greatest young actor of his generation. Bad Boys is now presented complete, uncut and on Blu-ray.

    Now, I know what you’re thinking–because I’m thinking the same thing: man, Clancy Brown’s hair is scary in this.

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    By | 2017-09-24T22:44:22+00:00 January 26th, 2011|Contests|0 Comments

    Headsup for March 25, 2008

    An ongoing attempt to make sense of the onslaught of new swag that people want you to buy. Should you? I’ll try and help.

    Dan In Real Life DVD Cover Art
    Groundhog Day 15th Anniversary Edition DVD Cover Art
    Nancy Drew DVD Cover Art

    Dan in Real Life is a bit of surprise: it’s a comedy that came under the radar that lacked the CG-oompah of something like Evan Almighty and as a result didn’t burn up the box office. But these days, are there small romantic comedies that demand the big screen treatment? A few. Regardless, it’s on DVD now from Touchstone and you can give it the small screen treatment as much as you’d like. Carell will no doubt return to wrecking the box office later this year in Get Smart. Anyway, in this simple but endearing comedy he falls in love with Juliette Binoche (wouldn’t you?) only to find out that she’s his brother’s new girlfriend. Don’t you hate it when that happens? Especially since he’s a relationship advice columnist. Nice. Also stars Dane Cook, John Mahoney and Dianne Wiest. Comes also with a commentary with the writer/director, deleted scenes with commentary from the same writer/director, outtakes, a making-of featurette and a music featurette. Carell fans or people who just like romantic comedies should rent before purchasing. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

    Granted, Groundhog Doy was in February. But the beauty of the film is that, fifteen years on, our day to day lives are even more like the day Bill Murray’s Phil Connors is doomed to repeat. It just gets better with time, as do all the classic Murray flicks. This new 15th Anniversary Edition out from Sony has only improved a little over the previous special edition, however. My copy of that version is still buried in my archives from my move to the compound here, but I’m fairly certain this commentary from director, co-writer, and all-around excellent fellow Harold Ramis, while still amusing, is not new. Neither is the “Weight of Time” docu. The only things that I don’t recall from that previous iteration of the title are the deleted scenes, an interview with Ramis, and a groundhog featurette. Still no Bill Murray in the features, sadly. But regardless, if you don’t own this title already, there’s no excuse not to. The film is good enough to nab even with a bare bones disc. (Click here to buy it from Amazon.)

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:20:44+00:00 March 25th, 2008|Headsup|0 Comments

    Shanghai Surprise (1986) – DVD Review

    DVD cover art for Shanghai Surprise

    Film:
    DVD:

    Written by John Kohn and Robert Bentley, based on the novel Faraday’s Flowers by Jim Goddard
    Directed by Peter S. Fischer, Richard Levinson, William Link
    Starring Madonna, Sean Penn, Paul Freeman, Richard Griffiths, Philip Sayer

    Released by: Artisan.
    Rating: PG-13
    Region: 1
    Anamorphic: Nope and a full frame transfer to boot.

    My Advice: Don’t bother even if you’re a Madonna fan.

    Faraday’s Flowers is a legend that no one seriously believes in. In 1937, Walter Faraday (Freeman), the Opium King, was one step ahead of the Japanese army invading Shanghai. He had over 1100 pounds of opium to maintain his lifestyle. But because of circumstances and double-crosses too complicated to go into, the opium disappeared and has never resurfaced. One year later, Mr. Burns (Michael Aldridge) and Miss Gloria Tatlock (Madonna), administrators of a charity hospital, are looking for the flowers to use as painkillers for their suffering patients. They recruit Glendon Wasey (Penn) to help them out because of his fluent Chinese and his shady character, since they have to deal with some pretty shady characters in search of the Flowers. They run into baseball-loving gangsters, Imperial concubines, sadistic police, and enough double crosses to kill a vampire at fifty paces.

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:56:54+00:00 July 7th, 2005|DVD, Reviews|0 Comments

    Dogtown and Z-Boys (2001) – DVD Review

    dogtown and z-boys dvd cover

    Film:
    DVD:

    Written by: Stacy Peralta and Craig Stecyk
    Directed by: Stacy Peralta
    Narrated by: Sean Penn

    Features:

    1. Running audio commentary by writer/director Peralta and editor Paul Crowder
    2. Deleted and extended scenes
    3. Theatrical Trailer

    Released by: Sony Pictures
    Region: 1
    Rating: PG-13
    Anamorphic: N/A; appears in its original 1.33:1 format.

    My Advice: Rent it.

    Skateboarding was having its second growth spurt after being consigned to the fad trash pile along with hula-hoops and flagpole sitting. With the introduction of polyurethane wheels, the improved speed and performance gave the sport a much-needed shot in the arm. The peak was the Del Mar Nationals in California in 1975, the first national competition held in a decade. At the Nationals was the Zephyr Skate Team. Their skating style was aggressive, unrestrained, and unorthodox. Their attitude was in your face and sure of themselves and their skills. Their story is the focus of Dogtown and Z-Boys.

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    By | 2008-12-21T08:55:03+00:00 October 17th, 2002|DVD, Reviews|0 Comments

    The Thin Red Line (1998) – Movie Review

    Thin Red Line

    Written & Directed by: Terrence Malick, based on the novel by James Jones
    Starring: James Caviezel, Ben Chaplin, Sean Penn, Elias Koteas, Nick Nolte

    My Advice: Wait for Cable.

    For the record, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better acted piece of overblown, pretentious, self-important cinema in my life. Also for the record, I have never seen a film more in need of an editor…in my life. Let me try to summarize this monster for you. It’s World War II, and you’re at Guadalcanal. Private Witt (Caviezel) has gone AWOL again only to be given a second chance by Welsh (Penn), a first sergeant. He is a member of Charlie Company, led by Capt. Staros (Koteas), who is getting his ass chewed out perpetually by Lieutenant Colonel Tall (Nolte), who is in turn busy kissing the ass of a brigadier general (John Travolta). In the meantime, we have Private Bell (Chaplin), who is pining for his wife (Miranda Otto). Somewhere else in there we have a bunch of other soldiers who I can’t remember (98% of the cast) and a bunch of people who did have roles but were edited out (name any actor in Hollywood). Confused? Good. I don’t feel so alone now.

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    By | 2012-08-28T09:53:36+00:00 January 16th, 1999|Reviews|0 Comments