Your Weekend Justice #169: The Best Podcast Adaptation of Ethan Frome. Ever.

It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. It’s the podcast with show notes that are the best show notes based on the novel Robinson Crusoe that you’ve ever read. Or not read. Does anyone actually read these words?

[audio:http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/www.needcoffee.com/podcasts/wjustice081012.mp3]

Chris Sarandon from A Tale of Two Cities

Agenda:

  • Jon’s troublesome bulge
  • That mysterious Scott guy
  • MARTA, escalators and fun without them
  • Respect the penis
  • The Shia filmography mini-discussion
  • Avengers 2
  • The inevitable non-discussion of Dark Knight Rises
  • Fun with bulging
  • Literacy vs. recommendations
  • Badminton
  • The Michael Caine Theories
  • Warehouse 13
  • Disney Cruise reviews. Plus gambling.
  • Sex and historical callbacks. Plus the strip club story revisited. With boners.
  • Fun with stripper names
  • Rox, comedic stripper
  • Stephen King and experimentation. In books. In books.
  • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:30:39+00:00 August 10th, 2012|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|1 Comment

    Your Weekend Justice #121: Those Little Slices of Friction

    It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. It’s the podcast that sets the land speed record for euphemisms with one arm tied behind its back. So this podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

    Bananaphone

    Agenda:

  • Technical issues!
  • The suckline
  • Aaron’s odd sleep patterns
  • Jon and the ongoing problem with almonds
  • TravelCast!
  • Aaron’s odd sex patterns
  • Quandry vs. Situation!
  • How to deal with Best Buy
  • Universal Studios hates blind kids
  • Disney‘s bigass mistake
  • Universal vs. Disney in The Tunnel
  • Invitation for crickets
  • Bridesmaids
  • Aaron and the $600
  • Scott and popcorn abuse
  • Transformers 3
  • Playing out Scott
  • Shia LaBeouf
  • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:39:33+00:00 July 8th, 2011|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|0 Comments

    Your Weekend Justice #67: The Hands Going to the Stairs

    And we’re back. Please note: this podcast, if you haven’t figured it out, is profane and not safe for consumption by children or animals. Or sentient creatures of any sort. Or even cardboard boxes. Nothing. Nobody. Got it?

    [audio:http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/www.needcoffee.com/podcasts/wjustice052110.mp3]

    Harvey Lottery!

    Agenda:

    • The Calendar of the Month Club
    • Harvey Fierstein vs. Broadway
    • Widge does the Harvey in different voices
    • Arsedialing
    • Walking
    • Rob’s wife’s graduation
    • Sci-fi or the lack thereof
    • Lost getting lost
    • When in doubt: Russian cosmonaut
    • Here Come the Faithbots!
    • Canadian cigarettes
    • Ham. Again.
    • Rox’s dumpster diving
    • Ken’s weird night
    • Leigh’s sexy room service
    • Euphemisms!
    • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:51:43+00:00 May 21st, 2010|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|0 Comments

    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – 27 Second Review

    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen teaser movie poster

    Written by: Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, and Alex Kurtzman
    Directed by: Michael Bay
    Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Ramon Rodriguez, Peter Cullen, Hugo Weaving

    Review: The only problem I had with the first one of these was that it tended to have things on the screen that weren’t giant robots fighting other giant robots. So that needed fixing. And so it was! This time around, if you’re not seeing a big bot tear another’s face off (seriously, this is done quite a bit), then you’re probably instead focused on some of Megan Fox’s various parts. Which is acceptable. You can shut your brain down for this one. Shut it down hard.

    Time: 21 seconds

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:01:43+00:00 July 1st, 2009|27 Seconds, Reviews|0 Comments

    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: A Non-Review

    Megan Fox in Transformers

    First of all, for the record, let me say that I have not seen the new Transformers sequel. I’m aware of the hype and I did see the first one. Thankfully, this is not a review of the new movie. It’s a review of a couple of the reviews I’ve read for that movie.

    In the early, pre-dawn hours of the morning this morning, I rolled over and picked up my Blackberry to catch a glimpse of the headlines. There’s always something there that will help lock your eyeballs open for the day. This day, it was the absolute idiocy of a couple of movie reviews that was able to get me from the bed to the coffee pot.

    The first review I read was by Tom Charity on CNN.com. The second was by Joe Morgenstern on the Wall Street Journal Online.

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:01:50+00:00 June 25th, 2009|Stimuli|6 Comments

    Stuff: Biggest Zombie Party on the Planet Nigh

    I Spit on Your Rave poster
  • I Spit on Your Rave has the best movie title you will hear this week. The concept is it’s 2018 and six years since a zombie virus unleashed upon the 2012 Olympics and mankind has gone the way of the dodo and good Marvel Comics. So out of boredom, a zombie music festival is born. This sounds so mental, I am filled with glee just telling you about it. Apparently, they’re filming this at the Big Chill Festival with production starting on August 6th and they want everybody to show up and play a zombie extra. Not only do they get their movie, but they get the world record for “Most Amount of Zombies Captured on Camera”. Is there anything about this film to not respect? Not at present. Here’s their official site for more info. Source.
  • The Coraline musical is now running through July 5th. It seems to have pleased The Neil, so my hope is that a DVD of the performance will be on sale for those of us who don’t have a prayer of seeing it in NYC before it closes. Source.
  • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T23:02:33+00:00 June 11th, 2009|Stuff You Need to Know|3 Comments

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) – 27 Second Review

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull poster

    Written by: David Koepp, based on a story by George Lucas and Jeff Nathanson, which was in turn based on characters created by George Lucas and Philip Kaufman
    Directed by: Steven Spielberg
    Starring: Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone

    Review: I sprained my penis once….

    This is worse.

    Time: 6 seconds (due to painful reflective pause)

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:18:28+00:00 May 30th, 2008|27 Seconds|0 Comments

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) – Movie Review

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull poster

    Film:

    Written by: David Koepp, based on a story by George Lucas and Jeff Nathanson, which was in turn based on characters created by George Lucas and Philip Kaufman
    Directed by: Steven Spielberg
    Starring: Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone

    My Advice: Matinee it. If you must.

    It’s 1957 and Indiana Jones (Ford) has been busy since we last saw him, all the way back in 1938. Among other things, he appears to have fallen in with the wrong crowd (again), somehow getting himself and his partner, Mac (Winstone), kidnapped by a gang of Soviets led by a would-be psychic/doctor Spalko (Blanchett). The bad guys want Indy to help them locate something that he helped recover from a crash site in Roswell some time before. They think that this is the key to figuring out…yes, you guessed it…a super-weapon which will help them rule the world. Moohoohahaha.

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:18:32+00:00 May 27th, 2008|Reviews|16 Comments

    Transformers (2007) – 27 Second Review

    Transformers Poster

    Directed by: Michael Bay
    Written by: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman and John Rogers
    Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, Rachel Taylor, Anthony Anderson, Jon Voight, John Turturro, Peter Cullen, and Hugo Weaving

    Review: Face it: the original is dead along with the rest of the 80s. No one turns into a gun, and you won’t learn a lesson about sharing or some shit. What this movie delivers is giant robots fighting other giant robots. And that’s what you go for. So what if they got a blind man to piss on a wheel of cheese and took it for writing dialogue? It has the Michael-Bay-Level Boom! So don’t complain.

    Time: 17 seconds
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    By | 2017-09-24T23:29:49+00:00 July 13th, 2007|27 Seconds, Reviews|0 Comments