Starbucks Caffeine: A Field Manual

Starbucks to Infinity

Your friends at Energy Fiend have posted a chart detailing a complete list of Starbucks drinks and how much buzz you can estimate you’ll be getting for each. Very handy.

But this is just an estimate; as they state:

A recent laboratory test sampled a series of Starbucks Breakfast Blend brewed coffees. The caffeine dose varied from 299.5mg right up to a massive 564.4mg per 16oz cup! What’s astonishing is that the 6 samples were obtained from the same outlet on 6 consecutive days.

That is fairly astonishing. I would want to find out which barista was responsible for the uber-caffeine drink and they would be my bestest friend in the whole world.

Image via Wired.
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By | 2017-09-24T23:25:57+00:00 October 21st, 2007|Stimuli|0 Comments

Mark Malkoff: The 171 Starbucks Diary

Mark Malkoff

We mentioned Mark Malkoff before–he’s the whackjob who hit all 171 Starbucks on the island of Manhattan in a single day.

But if you’d like to see the online equivalent of a behind-the-scenes making-of featurette sort of thing, then check out Radar Online. Here’s my favorite bit:

I have the majority of the Paul McCartney lyrics down. When a teenage barista at 33rd Street and 10th Avenue hands me my tall coffee, I ask what he thinks of the album. “Frankly, I don’t really like it. Plus I don’t know who that is.” I explain that Paul McCartney is a 25-year-old Asian-American singer who was runner-up two years ago on American Idol. “Yeah, I think I know who he is now,” he replies.

I want to give Malkoff a dollar just for pulling that little mindgrope off. Nice.

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By | 2017-09-24T23:28:35+00:00 August 5th, 2007|Coffee|0 Comments

Starbucks Mug Goes For Several Car Payments on eBay

Starbucks prototype mug from 1994

This is pretty amazing. A prototype Starbucks mug from 1994 just sold on eBay for $1283.65.

A mug. A coffee mug. Even the coffee that they pull out of poop and sell for an incredible markup doesn’t seem like it would be “good enough” to drink out of a $1200 mug.

Here’s a bit of the description:

The Starbucks Portland 1994 style mugs that were available to the public for sale featured a Red Rose. This mug is possibly one of a kind and the only one in existence. The bottom of the mug is blank (it is a prototype). This mug is in excellent condition. It is the prized mug of my Starbucks mug collection, the Holy Grail if you will.

The Holy Grail of coffee mugs? I just have this image in my mind of the Starbucks version of the Knights Templar, questing out to find this thing now that it’s sold.

Found via Starbucks Gossip.
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By | 2017-09-24T23:29:03+00:00 July 31st, 2007|Stimuli|0 Comments

Mark Malkoff, Lord of the Manhattan Starbucks

Mark Malkoff triumphant

It takes a very special human being to get to the point where even we, the staff at Needcoffee.com, must simply stand back and say, “Dude, you are fucked.”

But yes, we bestow this honor upon Mark Malkoff, who created a short film. This film tells the story of the day he visited every Starbucks in Manhattan. All 171 of them. Not only did he visit, but he purchased stuff and partook on the premises.

To see the film and learn more about this insane individual (who is probably considered to be a grandstanding bastard by this guy), go here.

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By | 2017-09-24T23:29:11+00:00 July 23rd, 2007|Coffee|0 Comments

Starbucking Across the Universe & the Universal Living Room

Trailer for the documentary about the guy who’s trying to visit every Starbucks in the world. Now that might be a worthwhile endeavor if you’ve got nothing else better to do, but the fact that they’re building them faster than he can possibly visit them (as I’ve noted before) makes this truly a Sisyphean task, methinks.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Found via Energy Fiend.

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By | 2017-09-24T23:32:15+00:00 April 26th, 2007|Coffee|0 Comments

Starbucks: Today Stores, Tomorrow Vending Machines, Then… Implants!

Starbucks vending machine

Well, if you know any Starbucks conspiracy believers, you might want to give them a nice hug before you tell them about this. Because the coffee equivalent of Skynet is going to start selling their stuff out of vending machines:

Unlike any other coffee vending experiences in the market, the Starbucks vending platform utilizes proprietary heat-on-demand technology, developed by PepsiCo, which will offer customers yet another convenient way to enjoy Starbucks on-the-go.

Hell, you can sell everything else out of vending machines: anything from iPods to acne medication. So why not?

Found via Energy Fiend.

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By | 2017-09-24T23:34:20+00:00 March 27th, 2007|Coffee|1 Comment

Cthulhu is Coming! Look Tasty!

Well, if the reports are true, then R’lyeh has risen.

And if you think about it, Cthulhu is a clever devourer of souls. The Law of Universal Starbucks Proliferation states that any exposed land mass will have a Starbucks upon it–in fact, as many as the land will support. Therefore, humans must arrive on R’lyeh shortly to commence building of said Starbucks locations. Then, Cthulhu will eat them. Then…the Law persists, so more humans will arrive. And the cycle will continue.

Cthulhu didn’t get to be as old as he is by accident, folks. Make peace with your gods.

Found via Ken Hite.

By | 2017-09-24T23:37:58+00:00 November 12th, 2006|Stimuli|0 Comments

Odds and Ends for 1-31-2006

Four ideas for individual posts that didn’t quite make it. Doomed to wander WordPress Limbo until…until…AH! SHAZAM! And they’re here!

We would like to humbly add our names alongside Engadget and state that we too want that freaking robot elephant. Dindrane probably already has them in mass production. And I bet they have lasers. I never get the fun toys.

Somebody has posted an article on Wikipedia listing films by order of the number of “fucks” they have per minute. Handy! Useless! But handy! Found via Defamer.

If you’re trying to avoid feeling like a talentless slackass who can’t sell any art to save your life and as a result you should just go home, then don’t click here. Yeah, she’s four. Four. Christ. I’ll be in the nearest Starbucks if anyone needs me. Neatorama ruined your day.

And here’s a moment of WTF to clear your mental palate.

By | 2017-09-24T23:49:37+00:00 January 31st, 2006|Stimuli|0 Comments