Poetry, Chocolate & Pornography: A Black Phoenix Valentine

Black Phoenix Smell Your Date

Well, yes, yesterday saw the return of Mandatory Romance Occasion or as it is commonly known, Valentine's Day. That day when couples desperately reach for the same cliche activities like the Fancy Dinner TM, the dozen roses, and, you know, some sort of jewelry. And for the singles, you might have drowned your loneliness in some sort of sugar, fat, or alcohol or--and more likely--a combination of all three. But complaining about Valentine's Day has become a cliche in itself. So no more bitching and moaning, we move on to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's perfume that broaden your perspectives while delighting your nose.

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By |February 15th, 2013|Headsup|0 Comments

The Sound Board #33: A Total Collapse-Into-a-White-Dwarf of the Heart

Total Eclipse of the Heart: Choir of the Damned

This podcast generally covers music and other transgressions. This month's episode is tolerated by Prof. Tuffley and Dr. Rob Levy with Widgett hitting speed bumps way, way too hard.

This episode's central topic is: oh shit, it's Valentine's Day once more. We give you an update on our latest and favorite Anti-Valentine's Day tracks. Also: the 50th Anniversary of the Beatles; the loss of Donald Byrd and Reg Presley; the return of My Bloody Valentine; The Isle of Wight festival shows that the world may be ending; Parlophone is an ex-parrot; and last minute, horribly wrong Grammy predictions.

Special thanks to Hyperbubble for our lead-in music. Show them love and buy their stuff.
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By |February 13th, 2013|Podcasts, Sound Board|1 Comment

Happy Horny Werewolf Day From Black Phoenix

When I write about the Lupercalia perfumes from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, I usually write an amusing little missive on the ridiculous and corporate nature of Valentine's Day. However, I rediscovered this from Uncle Warren and I must bow to the master. Especially if he wants to do something naughty.

Happy Valentine's Day to all. And to those who hate the day, I say this: Valentine's Day is a Christian corruption of a pagan festival involving werewolves, blood and fucking. So wish people a happy Horny Werewolf Day and see what happens.

He's selling cards of this sentiment for you to give for that special someone. Fuck Hallmark.

With that out of the way... on with the scents!

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By |February 14th, 2012|Headsup|0 Comments

Solve This: The Valentine's Day Special

Sniper Cupid

No, it's not a second series. It's a Valentine's Day Special One-Off Episode of Solve This, the improvisational panel show and podcast that pits a panel of four romantic specialists against properly themed Valentine's Day problems where the solutions become more wrong the further we go into the show.

Joining me for this episode are, in alphabetical order:

  • Jon Boutelle, president and CWTFO of The Unique Geek
  • J.J. Hawkins, host of Mars Needs Podcasts
  • Aaron Poole, reformed host of Cabin Fever, blogger and filmmaker
  • Rox of Spazhouse, hobo queen in exile and Need Coffee's artist in residence.
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    By |February 13th, 2012|Podcasts, Solve This|5 Comments

    Black Phoenix Wants You Hot And Sweaty

    I get it. I know why St. Valentine's Day is in February. It is an example of the Catholic program of replacing pagan holidays with their own. In this case, replacing the Roman festival of Lupercalia with St. Valentine's Day. The problem is that unlike Italy, most of the Western World is kinda chilly in February. Not the best climate for a sexy holiday. When the powers that be were repackaging this for own modern consumer age, why didn't they move it to June?

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    By |June 28th, 2011|Headsup|0 Comments

    Your Weekend Justice #102: It's a Mixing Board. In Space.

    It's Weekend Justice: the Internet's #1 audio trainwreck. It's the podcast that won't stop FedExing ferrets to you. At work. This podcast was engineered--some might say over-engineered--by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

    I Heart You Peeps

    Agenda:

    • The Irish Prince
    • Free stuff in cereal boxes
    • Florida politics
    • Leigh vs. mead
    • Vagina Peeps
    • Din and school supplies
    • Widge vs. his beer
    • Award discussions
    • Rox's sketch winner
    • Euphemisms and mythology
    • Tatas in India
    • Din's answer to Hooters
    • Leigh's doctor visit
    • Book sculptures
    • Din's Dog Latin version of UNKLE
    • Death of the Heroes
    • Don't upgrade!
    • The Girl Who Cried Euphemism
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    By |February 18th, 2011|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|0 Comments

    Ministry Monday: When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best

    Ministry

    It's Valentine's Day. But also, very importantly, it's Music Ministry Monday. On behalf of of myself and Need Coffee's own Ministry of Music, Rob Levy and Tuffley, we welcome you to this post of warmth and cheer. So grab your significant other or others and snuggle up as we take a stroll down lovers lane. Because when you can't find the words to say how you really feel, then never fear: Al Jourgensen will take the wheel and drive.

    Let's begin at the beginning: "Revenge," a tale of young love by Ministry from their first album, With Sympathy. This is as soft as it comes--the synth stops here.
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    By |February 14th, 2011|Music Whenever|2 Comments

    The Sound Board #17: Songs of Love, Hate & Indifference

    No Way Valentine Cookies

    This podcast generally covers music and other transgressions. This episode is hosting by Dr. Rob Levy with Prof. J.M. Tuffley & Widgett Walls in attendance.

    This episode's central topic is Valentine's Day and the music that can accompany it, or as the title says: songs of love, hate and indifference. To get there, we also discuss new releases, Glee vs. Kings of Leon, we discuss some artists we've recently lost, the fate of KUSF and possibly all of college radio, and Flavor Flav opens a chicken emporium.

    Special thanks to Hyperbubble for our lead-in music. Show them love and buy their stuff.

    Headsup: You can find the music we discuss at our Amazon Store.
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    By |February 7th, 2011|Podcasts, Sound Board|2 Comments

    Extreme Violence, Naughty Tentacles, and Penis Admiration From Black Phoenix

    Once again, it's Valentine's Day. The day where mutant naked winged toddlers come to terrorize the masses, their arrows coated with powerful psychotropics that will turn a rational person into a baby-talking moron who buys anything that is heart shaped. I can hear their mad cackling now. Can't you? It is indeed fortunate that we have Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab to help cut through the holiday treacle and give us an alternative that nothing to do with Hallmark, Zales Jewelery, and Russell Stover Candies.

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    By |February 11th, 2010|Stimuli|0 Comments

    So, February... What Have We Learned?

    Mr. Peabody and Sherman

    We look back on the smoldering remains of the month that was and provide you with a quick highlight reel for those joining this website already in progress or those who just might have wandered away and just shown [...]

    By |March 7th, 2009|Stimuli|0 Comments