Spring has arrived or, as Robin Williams aptly put it, “Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!'” You can see the grass thrusting out of the ground, flowers spreading their pollen so indiscriminately, and animals in heat putting out their scent. Many members of the animal kingdom use pheromones to signal their intent, to perpetuate their genetic code, or stated simply, to fuck. While there is some debate about the existence of human pheromones, most biologists say that if they exist, they really aren’t that influential. Being human, if nature didn’t provide, we provide for ourselves with Science! Chemistry, botany, zoology mixed together with creativity and an understanding of passion. Some of the best people in the perfume business who understand this mad dance of heady science and base desire are Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. It is in their Lupercalia release that they let their freak flag fly and have perfumes to attract the interest and inflame the passion of the object of your desire. What you do after that is your own affair but let me just say that sweat does intensify the effect.
Well, yes, yesterday saw the return of Mandatory Romance Occasion or as it is commonly known, Valentine’s Day. That day when couples desperately reach for the same cliche activities like the Fancy Dinner TM, the dozen roses, and, you know, some sort of jewelry. And for the singles, you might have drowned your loneliness in some sort of sugar, fat, or alcohol or–and more likely–a combination of all three. But complaining about Valentine’s Day has become a cliche in itself. So no more bitching and moaning, we move on to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab‘s perfume that broaden your perspectives while delighting your nose.
This podcast generally covers music and other transgressions. This month’s episode is tolerated by Prof. Tuffley and Dr. Rob Levy with Widgett hitting speed bumps way, way too hard.
This episode’s central topic is: oh shit, it’s Valentine’s Day once more. We give you an update on our latest and favorite Anti-Valentine’s Day tracks. Also: the 50th Anniversary of the Beatles; the loss of Donald Byrd and Reg Presley; the return of My Bloody Valentine; The Isle of Wight festival shows that the world may be ending; Parlophone is an ex-parrot; and last minute, horribly wrong Grammy predictions.
When I write about the Lupercalia perfumes from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, I usually write an amusing little missive on the ridiculous and corporate nature of Valentine’s Day. However, I rediscovered this from Uncle Warren and I must bow to the master. Especially if he wants to do something naughty.
With that out of the way… on with the scents!
No, it’s not a second series. It’s a Valentine’s Day Special One-Off Episode of Solve This, the improvisational panel show and podcast that pits a panel of four romantic specialists against properly themed Valentine’s Day problems where the solutions become more wrong the further we go into the show.
Joining me for this episode are, in alphabetical order:
I get it. I know why St. Valentine’s Day is in February. It is an example of the Catholic program of replacing pagan holidays with their own. In this case, replacing the Roman festival of Lupercalia with St. Valentine’s Day. The problem is that unlike Italy, most of the Western World is kinda chilly in February. Not the best climate for a sexy holiday. When the powers that be were repackaging this for own modern consumer age, why didn’t they move it to June?
It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. It’s the podcast that won’t stop FedExing ferrets to you. At work. This podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.
- The Irish Prince
- Free stuff in cereal boxes
- Florida politics
- Leigh vs. mead
- Vagina Peeps
- Din and school supplies
- Widge vs. his beer
- Award discussions
- Rox’s sketch winner
- Euphemisms and mythology
- Tatas in India
- Din’s answer to Hooters
- Leigh’s doctor visit
- Book sculptures
- Din’s Dog Latin version of UNKLE
- Death of the Heroes
- Don’t upgrade!
- The Girl Who Cried Euphemism
It’s Valentine’s Day. But also, very importantly, it’s
Music Ministry Monday. On behalf of of myself and Need Coffee’s own Ministry of Music, Rob Levy and Tuffley, we welcome you to this post of warmth and cheer. So grab your significant other or others and snuggle up as we take a stroll down lovers lane. Because when you can’t find the words to say how you really feel, then never fear: Al Jourgensen will take the wheel and drive.
This podcast generally covers music and other transgressions. This episode is hosting by Dr. Rob Levy with Prof. J.M. Tuffley & Widgett Walls in attendance.
This episode’s central topic is Valentine’s Day and the music that can accompany it, or as the title says: songs of love, hate and indifference. To get there, we also discuss new releases, Glee vs. Kings of Leon, we discuss some artists we’ve recently lost, the fate of KUSF and possibly all of college radio, and Flavor Flav opens a chicken emporium.
Once again, it’s Valentine’s Day. The day where mutant naked winged toddlers come to terrorize the masses, their arrows coated with powerful psychotropics that will turn a rational person into a baby-talking moron who buys anything that is heart shaped. I can hear their mad cackling now. Can’t you? It is indeed fortunate that we have Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab to help cut through the holiday treacle and give us an alternative that nothing to do with Hallmark, Zales Jewelery, and Russell Stover Candies.