The following is a compendium of frequently asked questions and their corresponding answers regarding what is being hailed as The 25 Phenomenon by researchers. For those requiring an introduction to this new advancement in world knowledge, we would refer you to the original video.
Q: What is the baby using?
A: The baby is using 25.
Q: Is this true for all babies?
Q: Are you kidding? My baby doesn’t use 25.
A: Yes. Yes, it does.
Q: I have never witnessed my baby using 25. How do we know this is the case?
A: Babies use 25 universally. Even in societies where the usage of 25 has been demonized or even banned, babies will surreptitiously use 25 when not being watched.
Q: You’re freaking me out here. If my baby is using 25, how do I know that 25 is safe?
A: There are no documented cases of babies being injured during their use of 25. Any reports to the contrary, once properly investigated, have turned out to be rumors.
Q: What if there are five babies in a room, let’s say. Are they each using 5 then?
A: No. Babies will collectively use 25. The 25 cannot be broken down into pieces lower than 25.
Q: So the five babies aren’t using 125?
A: No. Because they collectively use 25, there is only the one 25 in use at a time.
Q: What did babies use before 25?
A: Babies knew about 25 and used it even before 25 was in wide use as a number on its own. There has always been 25 and babies have always used it.
Q: Why aren’t babies using 42?
A: The prevailing theory is that for unknown evolutionary reasons, babies have developed the usage of 25. There are theories that there were different species of competing babies that lived in Northern Europe around 300,000 years ago that might have developed the usage of other numbers, but as to what these numbers were, there is no scientific consensus as of yet.
Q: Have we noticed the usage of 25 in non-human babies?
A: There are rumors that primate researchers such as Jane Goodall have noticed the usage of numbers other than 25 in non-human babies, but there simply has not been enough research to be able to say that conclusively that, for example, “17” is a universal answer to “What’s the baby chimpanzee using?” despite an article in the October 2005 issue of Nature that put forward this as a solid fact.
Q: Do Spanish babies use 25 as well? Or do they use veinticinco?
A: 25 is outside the realm of language. Knowledge of 25 and its usage are hardwired into the brain. Therefore, they may call it using any language that they learn, but even before they know it as “twenty-five” or “veinticinco” or anything else–they are indeed using it.
Q: Did babies during the Roman Empire use XXV?
A: Archaeologists have not found any Roman cell phone kiosks thus far, so there has been no evidence. It would stand to reason that this is true, however.
Q: Is my teenager or pre-teen using 25?
A: No. Even if they think they are, they are not. Babies use 25. At what age the knowledge of how to use 25 is lost is currently under debate. In many cases teenagers have been known to use 52 in a mirror and pretend it’s 25, but it’s not the same. It never is.
Added 8/23: Q: Is there a connection between Area 52 and Alien babies using 25?
A: I’m quite certain we don’t understand the question, sir. But do please remain where you are. We are sending some people to your location to get clarification.
Q: Is there any numerological basis for the usage of 25 by babies?
A: Internationally renowned numerologist Prof. Naegele puts forward the following: if you convert the letters to their order in the alphabet, like this:
b a b y
2 1 2 25
Then the following is true: (b+a-b) * y = 25
Added 9/2: Q: Is there really going to be a “What’s the Baby Using?” movie?
A: Yes. At the moment, M. Night Shyamalan is attached and the twist ending is that the baby is using 2.5 instead of 25. Of course, the baby will be played by Shyamalan himself. So.
Added 9/7: Q: What do Cthulhu babies use? The square root of negative twenty-five?
A: It should be noted that Cthulhoid creatures are largely the stuff of the legend. That being said, any researchers who have attempted to investigate them from a 25ology standpoint have either disappeared or gone mad.
Added 9/28:: Q: I’m a Christian, and was wondering if there’s any scriptural basis for believing in the baby using 25.
A: Well, science shows without a doubt that the baby uses 25. So you can believe whatever you wish. But if you must back it up with scripture, Prof. Schmidt, a theologian points out that Jesus Christ was born on December 25th. And if that wasn’t enough, ChurchFun points out that the scripture backs it up thusly:
25: bringing science and religion together in harmony.
Do you have a question about 25? Ask us at 25 at need coffee dot com and we’ll answer if we can. Check back often for updates, as 25ology is a new field and subject to late breaking news.