PLEASE NOTE: If we link out to a site and you buy something there, we make money off of that. Everyone online does that, the difference is we love you. For why we have to specify this, click here.

Open Letter to the Aliens Who Kidnapped John Carpenter and Replaced Him With a Pod Person

John Carpenter on the set of The Thing

Bring him back. Please? I just got done watching The Thing for the umpteenth time and I would really like the good Carpenter that we all know and love back. I’m sure we can convince the real Carpenter not to press charges or anything. And none of the rest of us will press charges for stuff like Ghosts of Mars. Honest. Total amnesty. Just bring him back.

Widgett Walls

P.S. Image of Carpenter from the set of The Thing taken from the incredibly impressive site for all things ThingOutpost 31.