PLEASE NOTE: “As an Amazon Associate, [Need Coffee] earns from qualifying purchases." You know we make money from Amazon links,
and I know you know this, but they make us say it anyway. More info, click here.

Religious Action Figures To Proselytize To Your G.I. Joes

Religious action figures!

Wal-Mart will soon be selling religious action figures. Those pictured are Samson and Goliath doing battle…which, you know, makes no sense considering that it was David who fought Goliath and it was a pair of scissors that fought Samson, if I’m remembering correctly. But maybe this is the Bible geek equivalent of the Juggernaut vs. the Blob. I have no idea.

You know, they’re making a big deal that kids need alternatives to Spider-Man and such, but I’ve got news for these people. Kids have imaginations. If I had these two figures, well, they look a helluva lot like Gilgamesh and Hercules from Avengers fame to me. If I had had these when I was a kid, they’d be fighting alongside any Marvel figures I could get my hands on.

And here’s something else…there are Star Wars Transformers now, yes? Let’s get some Bible Transformers. How cool would that be, huh? Noah is both Noah and the ark! David is both David and the sling, with the stone being the equivalent of a Laserbeak! Sodom and Gomorrah are the equivalent of Unicron! Genius! Somebody pay me!

Found via Consumerist.