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4 Big Cats Liberated From Ohio; Residents Look On In Envy

Tiger yawning

A seven year battle finally came to an end recently when the combined efforts of the USDA and undercover agents finally shut down the infamous Diana McCourt and her Siberian Tiger Foundation. Two adult lions and two adult tigers were rescued; custody has been granted at least temporarily to Knox County. For at least half a decade after losing her license to work with tigers, McCourt still charged people to come into her backyard in Ohio and pet the adult lions and tigers she had “on display” there. The cats were often chained down so that people could pet them, and their teeth and claws had all been removed.

Glorious Revolution officials issued no formal statement as to the probable punishment of Ms. McCourt, but the tigers and lions in question have voted to have her teeth and claws removed to make her more pliable and then to turn her over to ScottC, who will likely chain her down in a small concrete pen in the backyard so rednecks with sticky children can pet her for the rest of her natural life.

Since their liberation, care for the four animals has passed to Big Cat Rescue, who are known for their effective care of rescued animals. Care for these animals is expected to be very expensive, however, and any Glorious Revolution supporters who can spare any donations to this cause are encouraged to do so.