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Glorious Revolution Update 06/19/08

Future GR Operative

Field agents report that in vitro cuttlefish training is proceeding apace. Naturally, the instinctive cuttlefish tendency to prey upon the stupid is being encouraged by placing photos of intended targets alongside the clear eggs as they develop; unintended side effects include life-long heartburn at the sight of George W. Bush, but sea lion nursemaids are working on this.

In addition, other sea lion nursemaids are working to discover which, if any, humans are at all trainable. It seems that some select few can be taught to hunt for themselves, given enough nudging and penguin carcasses. Researchers are currently trying to find some visual cues to aid in the identification of less intellectually disadvantaged humans.

Finally, the Canine Brigade reports from Berwickshire, England, that apparently burglars will not make the short list of Humans to Survive the Coming Revolution. It seems that they tend to find homes guarded by dogs (especially mastiffs) to be fair game, which of course even the youngest geoduck could tell you is a silly notion at best and suicidal at worst. On the up side, Cromwell got some new bones to gnaw and a little tug-o-war play rag.

Thanks to Cosette and Neatorama for these updates to the Glorious Revolution.

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