If you’re thinking that this drink is terrifying, well…you’re not wrong. (I’ve provided a backlit photo below so you can truly enjoy the blue-ness of this monstrosity.) Obviously this limited edition is geared towards July 4th here in the US, and well, “50 Flavors in One” is a very American sentiment either way you look at it.
Ideally, it could be 50 Flavors as in “look at what happens when you blend a bunch of stuff together like the melting pot experiment that this country is supposed to be!” Or, and more realistically, it could be 50 Flavors as in “look at what happens when you put 47 more flavors into a drink than is reasonable!” These are both truly American sentiments.
First thing upon opening the cap…not a lot of fizz. It could just be my bottle, though. What probably wasn’t just my bottle is the fact that it smells exactly like it looks. I’m not sure how to describe it except that, yes, it smells very…blue. Not blue as in “the classic music of the likes of Muddy Waters and Robert Johnson” but blue as in “this is in no way natural and it looks a bit like the blood of an alien.” It freaking smells that way. Just…blue. All the sugary drinks in childhood that you loved, this is what would cause those beloved drinks to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. That’s the smell I’m talking about.
As for taste, it tastes blue as well…and not even some cheery sort of cheeky kind of blue raspberry taste. It tastes blue like someone played some horrific taste-based version of “Telephone” with about sixteen people and this is what came out the other side when what you started with was blue raspberry. 50 Flavors? I guess I assumed those would be 50 different flavors, but it wasn’t. It was just…the taste of blue. The taste of blue with several tablespoons of sugar mixed into it.
Oddly, after this vicious assault on the tastebuds, it fades into the background, as though nothing happened. But you can tell something happened. There is the ghost of an aftertaste, like your tongue suddenly developed PTSD. And by that I mean, you’ll think the taste is gone and then it will surge forward again to freak you out, like your tongue is Tim Robbins in Jacob’s Ladder.
So, to sum up, Liberty Brew is a needlessly technicolor flat letdown of a drink that only seeks to liberate you from healthy insulin levels. However, it is sadly very American. Run away.
As a drink that can be enjoyed:
As perhaps an art piece, embodying all that is plastic about ‘Murica: