The Rage: Carrie 2 (1999)

Directed by Robert Mandel & Katt Shea
Written by Rafael Moreu
Starring Emily Bergl, Jason London, Dylan Bruno, Amy Irving, J. Smith-Cameron

My Advice: Wait for MST3K.

Rachel (Bergl) is a girl with problems.  Her mother (Smith-Cameron) is a psycho who loves red paint and thinks her daughter is in league with Satan (Mandel or Shea).  She is widely considered by the population at her high school to be a complete freak.  And she's been targeted by the school's football team who loves to sleep with girls and then break up with them as part of some sick game.  Oh, and did we mention she could move objects with her mind?

There's nothing like this film to make you glad that Stephen King cut out sequel rights to his films after Children of the Corn, Part XIV.  However, it was too late to prevent this gem, and a more laughably pathetic outing I haven't seen since the Friday the 13th series ended.  And what is there to laugh at?  Namely witnessing the characters as they realize they're in a sequel.  Especially Sue Snell (Irving).  Rachel has just destroyed a snowglobe that was sitting on Sue's desk, then run out of the room.  Then we and Sue are treated to footage from the first film and the look on Sue's face of horror is only comprehensible when you realize she's thinking: "Stock footage...rehashed plot...oh God, I'm in a sequel..." 

There is some good to be had, believe it or not.  Jason London's Jesse is actually a character you can sympathize with, since he's a nice guy and trapped in a sequel.  There's actually another character that has about three good lines (there are four total in the film) but I couldn't tell you anything about him except that he's Rachel's Geeky Guyfriend.  He pops into her life suddenly as a result of bad editing which completely destroyed his introduction to us.  I think his name is mentioned once during the course of the film, so who knows who this actor is.  Kudos to the unknown actor, I lay a wreath at the tomb of your career.  There's also a very interesting exchange between a pair of eyeglasses and a harpoon gun, but I can't say anything more.

This is the kind of film that you go with twelve of your friends, if you can get in free to a matinee, and mock the film during the entire showing.  Not even worth direct to video.  Just run the hell away.

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