(Editor's Note: Sometimes I just like to give ScottC particular DVDs to watch him go off on them. It's like dumping chemicals together when the teacher isn't looking in chem class to see if you can make shit explode. This is Scott's 150th adverse reaction for the site. Come on. Grab some popcorn and let's celebrate by watching his head spin around. It's fun.)
Written by Jonathan Reynolds, based on a story by Bill Cosby
Directed by Paul Weiland
Starring Bill Cosby, Tom Courtenay, Joe Don Baker, Gloria Foster, Anna Levine
Released by: Columbia/TriStar Home Video.
My Advice: It's too late for me! Run! Save yourselves!
Leonard Parker (Cosby) is a spy's spy. An expert in practically everything, he's saved the world more times than you had hot dinners. So, following the rules of narrative, his personal life is a total mess. He's separated from his wife after she caught him frolicking with some blonde people and his daughter is involved with a much older stage director whose latest production has her baring all on stage. 'Bare' as in buck nekkid.
With the aid of his trusty valet Frayn (Courtenay), Leonard is going to try to get his life in some sort of order. His old employer, the CIA, has other ideas. They want him to save the world again. Seems there's this mad vegetarian named Medusa Jones (Foster) who has the means to turn small animals into homicidal maniacs. She plans to release her secret formula into San Francisco Bay and revel in the slaughter. But Leonard is putting his family first.
However after his latest reconciliation with his wife ends with dinner on him, literally on him, he's got nothing better to do. So he arms his under arm missiles and jumps into his armored Porsche and goes does heroic stuff.
OK, let's say you're Bill Cosby. You've got a solid comedic acting career behind you and you're in the most popular sitcom ever. But the show isn't going to last forever. You want to make the transition to movies. So striking while your fame is at its hottest, you makeâ€¦ Leonard Part 6?
Bill, um, Mr. Cosby, may I call you Bill? Thanks. So. Bill. WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Now before you say that you warned people that this movie was terrible when it was released, think about this. You are credited with writing the story and you were a producer. That's means you were involved from the beginning. You could have stopped this. Come on, you're BILL FUCKING COSBY! Back in the day, your word was law. If the studio was forcing you to make shit, you could have walked. Or done something. Couldn't you see the signs? A mad vegetarian terrorist? A Gypsy fortune teller who can't speak a word of English? Driving the bastard child of an Abrams tank and a Porsche?
I'm sorry, but the only good explanation is that as a movie producer, Bill, you're a good comic. Did this start as some mad scheme to recapture your youth a la I Spy? Look, you're a pudgy middle-aged man. I'm not advocating the Cult of Hollywood Thinness and its Head Temple Whore Paris Hilton, but certain careers demand a flat stomach. Hooters waitresses, Chippendale's dancers, and international spies do not have a paunch. Unless you're in a comedy. And comedies kind of need to be, you know, funny.
OK, that's enough. I can't really say any more bad things about this movie that hasn't been stated by many, many reviewers. And I'm not going to start about how this disc has no extras because what you put on here? A heartfelt apology from Cosby to the movie going public for releasing this abhorrent mix of bad farce and Coke commercial? So I'm just going to say that this piece of shit, Leonard Part 6, does not deserve to be bought or rented. In fact, if it's on the shelf of your local video store, you should complain to the manager.
Buy it from Amazon...(US)