Today I read how Farley Katz, one of the authors of The New Yorker’s Cartoon Lounge challenged Randall Munroe, creator of the webcomic XKCD to a Cartoon-Off. Each would draw a cartoon on four subjects (The Internet, as envisioned by the elderly, String Theory, 1999, Your favorite animal eating your favorite food). It was quite amusing but it was Munroe’s entry for String Theory that caught my attention.

string theory xkcd

Hyperbondage. Hyperbondage! I had limited myself to the mundane limits of biology in exploring all the sexual possibilities available. But what is mere flesh, bone, and nerve endings when you can use the building blocks of the universe itself to create planet shattering orgasms. Especially since all those strings vibrate. Since the strings are subatomic, they can tie down not just the arms and legs, but internal organs like the heart and even individual neurons. Then the submissive can enjoy your cat-o-nine-dimension-tails with the miniature black holes at the ends.

Imagine the sexual positions available when you can operate in 10 or even 26 dimensions. You can try the Quantum Butterfly, the Einstein-Rosen Bridge, or the Grand Unification Theory. Or just put Quantum in front of any position, like the Quantum Piledriver or the Quantum Reverse Cowgirl. I shall be forming an exploratory committee with Michio Kaku and Clive Barker to further expand on this subject. For Science!