Schweddy Balls Ice Cream by Ben and Jerrys

"I swear, this is not a prank call," I said into the phone.

I was fairly certain that they had gotten a similar call before, so I really didn't need to say that. But on the other hand, given what I was trying to check Whole Foods' stock of, I felt I needed to say it anyway. That Whole Foods did not have it, it turned out. So onto the next one. Whole Foods was the only store in this area that some locations had been known to carry this.

"Can you spell the name for me?" This new grocery/freezer department person was asking.

"S-C-H-W-E-D-D-Y Schweddy..." I said.

"Balls," he finished. Which, given the man's accent (which I could not place), was quite possibly the funniest thing I had heard all week. "Yes, I have it right in front of me. There are...six pints in stock."

They weren't going to run out before we could get there. Success.

This had been a long search to find a seemingly rare batch of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream. No idea why it has been so hard to find. Are some grocery stores really that bent out of shape in regards to an ice cream based on a SNL skit that had a great deal of testicular humor? You would think yes. But Siege found it in a Wal-Mart in Tennessee. And if there's ever been a retailer without a sense of humor, it's Wal-Mart. So I have no idea why. But there we were, driving across town to pick up a pint.

So now, the adventure over. The review begins. What we have here is "Vanilla Ice Cream with a Hint of Rum & Loaded with Fudge Covered Rum & Malt Balls," according to the packaging. The vanilla ice cream itself is nice and sweet--Ben and Jerry's is good about that and you know I'm a fiend for vanilla--but I just could not detect this purported hint of rum. Perhaps I needed to have a nudge of rum, rather than a hint. Maybe it's because I'm a lush and it's just below my threshold. I don't know. The main ingredient, though, are the two variations of balls inside. You've got regular chocolate malt balls (crunchy) and the fudge covered rum balls (soft). And they're not in short supply inside the pint--but not so dense that you can't get at any of the ice cream by itself, which is important. And if you get the vanilla and both balls in your mouth at the same time (I'm not trying to write this way, it just can't be helped) then it's actually a treat.

Now that all being said, the trouble is there's nothing really wrong with it. It's a capably created ice cream and it's actually pretty damn hilarious that Ben & Jerry's would do something along these lines. But it's not one of their best flavors--granted, this is from a company that hardly ever makes bad ones. I would classify it primarily as a well engineered novelty food. As far as its "tie in" flavors, I would rank it behind stuff like Phish Food and Bonnaroo Buzz. That doesn't mean it's not pretty damn good, but sometimes the adventure is better than the ice cream itself.