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03.04.07 by ScottC @ 12:05 am  Film: Written by Joe Eszterhas, based on the novel by Ira Levin Released by: Paramount. My Advice: Rent something better than it. Which should be pretty easy. After ending her waste of a marriage, Carly (Stone) is ready to make some changes in her life. Part of this is getting a new high rise apartment. Of course, she gets her new place the way a lot of New Yorkers acquire real estate: by someone dying. In Carly's case, the previous resident jumped off her balcony. In fact, everyone comments how much Carly looks like her. But she doesn't have time to consider this since she has two new suitors in her life. There's Jack (Berenger), a self-important macho cop-turned-author, whose attentions she's not thrilled with and Zeke (Baldwin), a young hot game designer, whose attentions she's very thrilled with. Thrilled multiple times, if you know what I mean. Zeke pushes Carly's boundaries and that is exactly what Carly is looking for. Even when he reveals that the apartment building has been turned into Zeke's private reality TV network, Carly doesn't look away. But when the competition between Zeke and Jack for Carly starts getting a body count, she needs to take a hard look at these two men. And herself. Categorized as: DVD and Reviews
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03.03.07 by Widge @ 2:35 am  There's very little one can say about Cocotte Minute, the brief, hyperkinetic short from some Gobelins out of Paris. Except, you know...where's the buffalo sauce? Categorized as: DVD and Stimuli
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03.02.07 by HTQ4 @ 1:39 am   Film: Written by Janus Cercone Released by: Paramount My Advice: Eh, rent it if there's nothing else. Jonas Nightingale (Martin) is a faith healer and he's a good one. There's only little problem. He's only in it for the money. The only faith he has is for the suckers who fill his tent every night to receive salvation. He travels across the county with his tour bus and tractor trailer rigs full of equipment looking for places to set up his tent and separate people from their money. His team has got this down to a science. The ushers who are seating people are writing down little bits of information that they overhear and pass them along back to Jane (Winger) who is connected to Jonas via a wireless speaker that he wears in his ear during the show. She passes along the information to make it look like Jonas is actually communicating with the Holy Spirit. The local sheriff (Neeson), who also has a thing for Jane, is on to Jonas and vows to shut him down one way or another. All of their lives are changed when a little boy with bad legs (Haas) sets foot on the stage and is really healed. Categorized as: DVD and Reviews
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02.25.07 by Widge @ 11:46 pm  Sloshing through the swamp of pop culture so you don't have to. We bring you ideas for how to waste your weekend. Of course, special thanks go out to Clutch for letting me use their absolutely badass song, "Promoter (of earthbound causes)" as my theme music for this. Buy Blast Tyrant, which is where you can find "Promoter". Buy their latest album, Pitchforks and Lost Needles. Send them love and coin. BTW, you iTunes subscriber types can nab this feed here. Or if you want to do something else with it, the feed feed is here. Categorized as: DVD and Podcasts and Recommendations
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02.25.07 by HTQ4 @ 1:49 am  Film: Written by John Fusco Features:
Released by: Touchstone Home Entertainment My Advice: Rent it. Frank Hopkins (Mortensen) is a Pony Express rider whose best friend is his horse, Hidalgo. Hopkins and Hidalgo have earned a national reputation for being champions of endurance races in the late 1800s. While he's performing with Buffalo Bill Cody's (J.K. Simmons) Wild West Show, his reputation is picked up by a Sheik (Sharif) who challenges them to race the 3,000 mile race across the deserts of the Middle East. They accept the challenge. Along the route of the race, they are challenged with bands of raiders who are very proud of their pure-bred horses and look down upon the infidel and his mixed-breed horse from America. They take this race and their breeding rights very seriously--enough to kill men and horses to make sure they win the race. Categorized as: DVD and Reviews
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02.18.07 by Widge @ 11:41 pm Sloshing through the swamp of pop culture so you don't have to. We bring you ideas for how to waste your weekend. Of course, special thanks go out to Clutch for letting me use their absolutely badass song, "Promoter (of earthbound causes)" as my theme music for this. Buy Blast Tyrant, which is where you can find "Promoter". Buy their latest album, Pitchforks and Lost Needles. Send them love and coin. BTW, you iTunes subscriber types can nab this feed here. Or if you want to do something else with it, the feed feed is here. Categorized as: DVD and Podcasts and Recommendations
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02.17.07 by HTQ4 @ 4:04 pm  Film: Produced by Philip Nugus and Jonathan Martin Released by: The History Channel My Advice: Find some wet paint to watch dry instead The 20th Century saw some amazing changes to the way that we wage war. Needless to say, we became more and more efficient at killing one another regardless of the justification. This documentary focuses on those changes and goes from one major war to another, spanning the globe. Sadly, this is one of the most boring things I have ever seen. It's organized very well, but it's a bit like watching someone's doctoral thesis in world history. The first episode sets up the rest of the episodes nicely, lining up what we are going to be watching for the next twenty-six hours. It seems to contain every scrap of stock footage from every major battle since WWI and is not shy about showing you every last second of this footage. Powell's narration is some of the most mind numbingly boring that I've ever heard. It's not just his fault--no, the writing for this documentary is the aural equivalent of an watching houseflies mate. Categorized as: DVD and Reviews
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02.15.07 by Bob the Zombie @ 10:39 pm  Oh, Sean, Sean, Sean, how I loved thee in this film, let me count the dead bodies. Okay, everyone wants to be Bond or at least they pretend they are in the shower so they can kick ass and take names while humming that notorious Bond tune. But I have some bad news for you folks: on one occasion or another our Bonds have disappointed us. Granted, Zardoz does have its brilliant moments, trying to get over Sean Connery with long hair in a braid and a red Speedo running around killing people is a hard thing to do. And no, ladies, the film was not made when he was young and buff and the Bond we oh so love. The film was made in 1974, that's 3 YEARS AFTER Diamonds are Forever! I'm going to say it. That's right, I am going to say it. Connery's performance in this is worse than Roger Moore playing an over-the-top gay guy who hits on Cuba Gooding Jr. in Boat Trip. Bringing new meaning to 1970s films, Zardoz takes British avant garde, fantasy, and what-the-hell to a new level. On paper, this UK blunder has potential, in practice just try to get all the way through it without grinding your teeth. Categorized as: DVD and Reviews
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02.04.07 by HTQ4 @ 9:22 pm  Film: Written & Directed by Martin Brest Released by: Columbia TriStar My Advice: Avoid it. Larry Gigli (Affleck) is a muscle man for a young, up-and-coming thug in L.A named Louis (Vinito). He's been tasked with kidnapping and holding Brian (Bartha), the mentally challenged brother of a federal prosecutor. The hope is that the kidnapping will put some pressure on the prosecutor to cut a deal on the prosecution of a friend of Louis' back in New York. It seems, however, that Louis doesn't think that Gigli is quite up to the challenge, so he hires Ricki (Lopez) to help Gigli make sure the job is done right. Ricki is pretty hot, but there's a bit of a snag; she's a lesbian. Will they be able to learn to work together? Categorized as: DVD and Reviews
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01.14.07 by Bob the Zombie @ 10:09 pm  I sought the Master and have found him! On a shy quest to get his glow-you-got-to-know and his banana peeled, Bruce Leroy (Taimak [IMDB linky]) is...The Last Dragon. If you haven't ever wanted to be a badass, you will after seeing this film. To learn how just take your cue from any of the baddasses--and yes, I do mean multiple baddasses. This parade of badassery includes: Taimak, Vanity, Faith Prince, Mike Starr, Julius J. Carry, III and the coolest kung fu kid ever, Ernie Reyes Jr.--you know, the kid from Red Sonja! There's a reason why Motown CEO Berry Gordon and Michael Schultz gathered to create this outrageous kung fu-80s-harlem-cult-classic-bonanza, The Last Dragon. There's also a reason why Busta Rhymes, badass that he is, pays homage to Carry's character Sno'Nuff in his music video for "Dangerous." The line quoted? "Who's the baddest mo-fo, low down, around this town? Sno'nuff." Perhaps now I have gotten across to you the badass foundation and now the review can continue. Categorized as: DVD and Reviews
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