Stuff You Need to Know: Paradise Lost Movie Shelved; Milton Quits CAA

Satan from Paradise Lost

Dammit, I wanted that guy from The Hangover to play me!

Need to stay up to date with pop culture news but don’t want to wade through 57 blog posts a day to do it? No worries. We do it for you: one post with only the most critical items so you can get it out of the way in one sitting. You’re welcome.

  • “Greedily Alex Proyas’ Paradise Lost engorged without restraint,/ And knew not eating death.” That’s right, the film has been killed due to budget issues. According to Variety, the technology to pull it off is still too expensive and the budget couldn’t be brought down to earth enough for Legendary Pictures. So whatever fantasy you had about Bradley Cooper in a satanic red loincloth or something will just have to remain inside your own heads. And really, the only person who needs to touch this project is Peter Greenaway. I’m just saying.
  • (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T22:33:15+00:00 February 9th, 2012|Stuff You Need to Know|1 Comment

    Your Weekend Justice #72: Islands of Adventure, Isthmi of Ambiguity!

    And we’re back. Please note: this podcast, if you haven’t figured it out, is profane and not safe for consumption by children or animals. Or sentient creatures of any sort. Or even cardboard boxes. Nothing. Nobody. Got it?

    [audio:http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/www.needcoffee.com/podcasts/wjustice070210.mp3]

    ScottC is Back

    Agenda:

    By | 2017-09-24T22:50:25+00:00 July 2nd, 2010|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|2 Comments

    Paul and Storm Channel Randy Newman

    Randy Newman

    So our twisted friends Paul and Storm have decided to ring in the Xmas bells with a little Randy. Yes, they’re taking their “What If…” cycle of songs to their logical and mad conclusion, in which various and sundry movies get a little musical help from Mr. Newman. It’s “25 Days of Newman.” So far they’re just on Day 5, and they’ve managed to take on Cloverfield, The Godfather…and some movie with Spartans in it, showing above. (Or for finicky feedreaders, here’s all the tracks.)

    Stay tuned to their website, or just cut to the chase and subscribe to their RSS feed or via iTunes. Just remember: you’ve got a friend in them.
    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T23:09:12+00:00 December 4th, 2008|Stimuli|0 Comments

    Stuff You Need to Know, Monday, September 1, 2008

    John Lennon as a boy
  • The teenage years of John Lennon are going to be the subject of Nowhere Boy, directed by Sam Taylor-Wood. The film “follows Lennon through his formative years growing up in Liverpool, the tense relationship between his aunt Mimi and mother Julia and on to his first meetings with Paul McCartney.” Casting is underway; production is supposed to start in March on location in Liverpool. I wonder when somebody’s going to do a fictionalized HBO or Showtime-level series about the origins of The Beatles. I dunno, I think I might actually watch that. Source: Variety.
  • Spandex may march on, but so does anime and manga. Specifically, Paramount wants to deliver manga comics based on their films to your phones. “Par says that comics are primarily viewed as marketing support for movies at or before time of int’l theatrical release, though carriers will treat them as premium content and charge phone users for downloads.” So let me get this straight–you think there’s enough demand for films like Eagle Eye and your pathetic Mission: Impossible franchise that people will pay to read twenty screens of a short manga that’s setup to market said films to consumers? I’m honestly asking you, our readers, whether or not you think you might go for this. In fact, fuck it, let’s have a poll. Source: Variety.
  • [poll id=”14″]

    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T23:13:41+00:00 September 1st, 2008|Stuff You Need to Know|0 Comments

    Dear Frank: About That “300” Sequel…

    Frank Miller

    We know that you’re a busy guy these days. You know, working on the Sin City movies we presume, and The Spirit, and every ten months or so writing a really terrible issue of The Goddamn Batman. And now you want to do a sequel to 300. Well, as has been pointed out on more than one occasion, this is tricky, since, you know, you killed practically every major character and a few thousand minor ones.

    Many others have tried to puzzle this out and failed. Gladiator 2 was looked at, as the Variety article mentions, and if I remember correctly they were going to try and do something with the Djimon Hounsou character. I, Too, Am Legend is also mentioned as something they’re like to have but I think the world just rather we actually get an adaptation of the book this time rather than, you know, a turd. Even a sequel to Titanic was discussed with Kathy Bates on another ocean liner–originally popped up on Corona as the one real page in a sea of April Fools jokes.

    So look, Frank, we know it’s hard. Therefore we’ve decided to put our Hollywood caps on–the ones that harmlessly disconnect a good 76% of our neurons–and help you out. We humbly present these ideas that we hurriedly scratched down onto a napkin.

    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T23:16:40+00:00 June 30th, 2008|Headsup|11 Comments

    Shoplifting at Wal-Mart: Thieving? This is SPARTA!

    Wal-Mart madness?

    I know you’re wondering: I wonder what’s popular with the shoplifters at Wal-Mart these days? Behind the Counter is here to help you with that.

    Among the highlights:

    – one package of Scuncï hair bands (Mötley Crüe escaped)
    – a one gig USB Flash drive
    – and two copies of “300” Seriously. Thieving is so NOT Sparta. And Leonidas would so kick you into the pit for stealing

    Awesome. Found via The Consumerist.

    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T23:28:20+00:00 August 14th, 2007|Stimuli|0 Comments

    Because I Couldn’t Help It.

    Original “This is Coffee” movie here. Can’t seem to get it embedded worth a damn. The soundtrack is kickin’, though.

    Want to use this on your site/MySpace/LJ/whatever? Be my guest. Here’s some code:

    <a href="http://www.needcoffee.com">
    <img src="http://images.needcoffee.com/madnesscoffee.gif"/></a>
    

    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T23:28:21+00:00 August 13th, 2007|Coffee|0 Comments

    300 Trailer (Family Friendly Version): This is Delicious

    Okay, I screwed up. I saw links to this before and went, “What? No.” I’ve gotten wary since everybody sent me the Alanis “My Humps” video and I stupidly watched it and scarred myself for life.

    But then Siege sent this over and I just about laughed myself out of my chair. It’s genius. I thus repent and offer it to you now.

    Direct link for the feedreaders.
    (more…)

    By | 2017-09-24T23:33:39+00:00 April 7th, 2007|Stimuli|0 Comments