It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck…the podcast that knows jokes are better when you don’t have to explain them…so it doesn’t ever explain itself. At all. Ever.
Written by: Drew Pearce & Shane Black, based on the character created by Stan Lee, Don Heck, Larry Lieber & Jack Kirby and the comic book storyline by Warren Ellis & Adi Granov
Directed by: Shane Black
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley, Jon Favreau and Paul Bettany
Review: Tony Stark. Genius. Billionaire. Superhero. Bit of a dick. And once again, Robert Downey Jr. plays it all out masterfully. Of course, I go to movies for the ‘splode, and that was present in droves as well. If you go more than fifteen minutes in this movie without an explosion, you should make sure you’re in the right theater. And that’s a good thing. It’s also a good thing to finally have a superhero role model who can be an asshole to children.
Time: 22 seconds
Episode #148 for Iron Man 3 3D, in which our protagonist explains how to get his brain to shut up (finally), thinks we should figure out how to get another contract for Downey starting right now and generally heaves a sigh of relief about Phase Two of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
So now we have not one but two Sherlock Holmes films coming out, giving added credence to Doc’s excellent research into Sherlock’s Law, that two years must not pass before someone else attempts to make some version of a Sherlock adaptation.
In addition to the previously announced Guy Ritchie directed version (which will see Jason Statham in some role–we allege) now we’ve got Judd Apatow co-producing a Etan Cohen (Tropic Thunder) scribed Sherlock comedy with Will Ferrell as Watson. Which is all well and good, but the interesting bit is Sacha Baron Cohen as Holmes. Interesting because Will Ferrell is pretty much Will Ferrell in all of his movies. This is not a slight, as if you watch early Bill Murray, Bill Murray is almost always playing the same Bill Murray character–and it’s funny. But Cohen is like the comedic analog of Gary Oldman (who should really do more comedies IMO)–Cohen can do comedies all day long and really become the role, so you’re not really watching Cohen just like you’re not really watching Oldman. So Cohen becoming Holmes should be fascinating.
So we decided to take this moment (nay, excuse, let’s be honest) to throw down a bunch of Holmes interps. This is by no means an exhaustive representation of Holmes adaptations, because there’s a pantsload. But this will just give you a quick lunchtime’s worth of overview.
Here’s what’s supposed to be the first film of Holmes, entitled Sherlock Holmes Baffled, from 1900. And you will be baffled too when you watch this. Because it appears to be the first appearance of The Vanisher, which we had thought was an X-Men villain. You learn something new everyday.
We’re back. All will be explained. Okay, no, not really.
Sound quality sucks, because we’re figuring this conference call crap out still. I think I’ve figured out for next time. So don’t beat me up too badly. Consider this a pilot that is planning on going to series. Shot with no budget.
Here’s the agenda:
- The Strike Update by Tuffley, with interruptions by ScottC, who wants Law & Order and sex crimes
- Rob Levy reveals how Lionel Richie spelled the doom of the Grammys, long, long ago. He also brings up the prospect of combining the Grammys with American Gladiators. And knife fighting.
- General Oscar discussion.
- Javier Bardem vs. Hal Holbrook
- The Assassination of Jesse James…
- General bitching about the score of There Will Be Blood being ineligible
- David Cronenberg messes with Widge’s head with Eastern Promises
- David Lynch messes with everyone’s head. Everyday.
- Tuffley reveals that married people are kinkmonsters
Sloshing through the swamp of pop culture so you don’t have to. We bring you ideas for how to waste your weekend. Tried to get this up yesterday, I know, I said so in the recording, but that’s what I get for thinking.
Of course, special thanks go out to Clutch for letting me use their absolutely badass song, “Promoter (of earthbound causes)” as my theme music for this.
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Written by Zak Penn and Billy Ray
Directed by E. Elias Merhige
Starring Aaron Eckhart, Ben Kingsley, Carrie-Anne Moss
- Running audio commentary with director Merhige
- Featurette: What We See When We Close Our Eyes
- Remote viewing demonstration
- Alternate ending with optional commentary by Merhige
Released by: Paramount
My Advice: Fans of the genre should consider it.
Benjamin O’Ryan (Kingsley) used to be a FBI agent. That changed when he became part of a program to track serial killers. He learned the techniques of remote viewing, psychically picking up on the details of murders, even seeing these horrible crimes through the killer’s eyes. Of course being that close to evil changes you. He has directed that darkness against those who he previously observed. O’Ryan now hunts his targets himself and he kills what he catches. And he’s after two targets. One is another FBI agent, Thomas Mackelway (Eckhart). He’s on the outs with the Bureau for extraditing a suspect by knocking him unconscious and putting him in his truck. Mackelway, along with his partner Fran Kulok (Moss), are trying to catch O’Ryan. But O’Ryan can literally see one step ahead of them. He knows that Mackelway has the same gift or curse and is pushing him so he can help O’Ryan with the second target: the Moby Dick of serial killers, a killer whose pattern is no pattern, whose hunting ground is the entire United States. This is Suspect Zero. But with O’Ryan unraveling, Mackelway conflicted between justice and loyalty to the FBI, and a murderer whose avoided detection for years–the differences between predator and prey are becoming confused.
Written by Michael McCullers, William Osborne, and Peter Hewitt, based on the television series by Gerry and Silvia Anderson
Directed by Johnathan Frakes
Starring Brady Corbet, Soren Fulton, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Bill Paxton, Dominic Colenso, Sophia Myles, Anthony Edwards, and Sir Ben Kingsley
- Running audio commentary with Director Jonathan Frakes
- Featurettes: “The Ultimate Action Sequence,” “Secrets of Tracy Island,” “FAB1: More Than Just a Car,” “Lady Penelope’s Pink World,” and “Lady P. and Parker”
- Music Video Performed by Busted
Released by: Universal
My Advice: If you’ve got young kids, they might enjoy it, but don’t buy it unless you are absolutely forced to. We’re talking with guns.