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Needcoffee to All Razor Manufacturers: Stand. Down.

With the announcement of a ten-bladed electric razor, Doc and I are in agreement: this madness must end. The razor arms race is getting way out of control. The former Soviet Union alone is rumored to have hundreds of thousands of eight-bladed electric razor prototypes, of which thousands are unaccounted for. Now this.

Look, folks: humanity isn’t ready for this. We’ve got to stop this mad escalation of blades before we wipe ourselves right off the map. I’m sure, if we ever survive this blade-overkill section of our history, we’ll make it to alien worlds and find remains of stupendous, jaw-dropping alien civlizations…and find a thirty-bladed monstrosity the size of a 3×5 card clutched in one strangely-shaped appendage. Perfectly preserved, because it was made of aggregated carbon nanorods.

If this doesn’t stop–and soon–then we should all just make peace with our gods.

Found via Gizmodo.

1 comment

  • The SNL repeat that aired last night with Buck Henry had a sendup of the new-at-the-time twin bladed razors. Their over the top comeback? A triple bladed razor, “because you’ll believe anything.”