If you ever want to learn the meaning of comedy, then sit me down in this thing: Simmer Down Sprinter is a two-person video game in which biofeedback rules. The faster and more completely you relax, the faster your character in the game runs. You tense up bad enough, your guy will run backwards. Be sure and watch the video of the game in action that's there on the site.
The only way I could possibly win this is if my guy, running backwards, ran into your guy and knocked him unconscious, making me win by default.