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13 Days of Xmas Day 10: Christmas Future Shock

Daily we’re assaulted by the fact that we’re living in the future. xkcd concurs.

But there are certain tell-tale signs that we’re experiencing Christmas in the 21st Century.

Perfect example: an Xmas tree powered by an electric eel.

To me that just sounds like something out of a cyberpunk novel. And if the eel truly uses shocks to fend off predators (as the vid states), does it think the Christmas tree is a predator? What a strange world in which Christmas trees are the natural predators of electric eels. Wouldn’t you love to see that National Geographic special? Sounds like The Far Side on acid.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Or if you, like all of us here, keeps one eye on the advance of Skynet, check this out: Neiman Marcus has their tree decorated by a family of robots:

Robots Decorate the Neiman Marcus Xmas Trees

No video for this one I’m afraid. I suppose Neiman Marcus wanted to make sure you couldn’t hear them whirring under their non-breath that they were going to finish with these ornaments and then go looking for Sarah Connor.

We were also going to be impressed by this, a nanoscale advent calendar…until we learned that the entire Hebrew Bible has been placed onto a half-a-millimeter square. (Source: Gizmodo as well) And here I had no idea the Micronauts were Jewish.

Things we can expect to be in the headlines for Christmas 2008? Our predictions:

  • Scientists create reindeer with a glowing red nose. Neiman Marcus uses them for its shop window display. They’re sold by Hammacher Schlemmer for the price of a luxury auto. Siege will say they taste delicious.
  • Hardcore Star Trek fans who get Vulcan ear implants will be in huge demand to play elves at shopping malls. Many will need therapy after the exposure to so many people, many mall shoppers will need therapy after seeing the Trekkies in red tights.
  • Edgar Wright will direct a remake of A Christmas Carol starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. We’re not going to make up anything else about it because dammit, we already want to see it just on general principle.
  • A giant Christmas tree lighting event in Second Life will be ruined when a griefer turns it into a giant penis at the moment it’s switched on. Due to system issues with the Grid, though, no one will see it. Not even Uncle Warren, who really would have gotten a kick out of it.