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LOLPoetry Contest

Yellow Fog Cat

Okay, so Dindrane, Doc and I spent yesterday in a stupor, concocting LOLpoem after LOLpoem. This after we posted about LOLEliot here.

In fact, here’s a poem from William LOL Williams now:

Im in ur wet red wheelbarrow
Bout to eat ur white chickenz

So here’s the deal. We’re going to throw you a snippet of poem, transinto LOLspeak.

Your task is as follows:

    1. Identify the poem and poet correctly
    2. Translate some more of the poem into LOLspeak.

Those we like we’ll post on the site. The best one gets fabulous prizes. Doc is ponying up a copy of Confucius to Cummings: An Anthology of Poetry. I’ve reached into the loot closet here at Needcoffee and pulled out: Lost: The Complete Third Season on DVD and The Simpsons Handbook: Secret Tips From the Pros. That’s $125 worth of swag for a few misspelled words. What a deal.

We need rules.

Rules are:

    1. Worldwide entries. Why not? This offer is void where prohibited, though. Like if LOLspeak is illegal where you hail from. But you still have to be 18 to enter.
    2. The staff here at Needcoffee are the judges and our decision is final.
    3. One entry per person.
    4. Post your LOLpoem in the comments here. Make sure your e-mail address is on the comment. If you win, I’ll ping you for your shipping address and we’ll get you your swag. Gah, this is why Doc is the gaming minister and I’m the janitor. Don’t post your entry here. Send it to widgett at need coffee dot com instead. I’m sure you figured out why by the time you’ve read this.
    5. Contest ends April 10th at 11:59PM EST.
    6. As always, remember: DBAD.

Clear? As mud? Good. Here’s your mystery LOLsnippet:

Teh day is like wide bukkit, without walrus
She awake but feet asleep WTF
Sleepin feet walkin to Palestine
Blood! Sepulchre! Rulez!

Get to it, amigos. If this goes well, we could do one of these, with other fabulous prizes, each week for National Poetry Month. If this goes poorly, we will never speak of this again.

Image source.


  • ZOMG, that you for telling me about LOLpoetry! :D I’d never heard of such a thing before and I find it hilarious :D

  • Like Duh, me mouse is stuck
    me thinkz me nedes a new mouse
    wear o wear can eye get a new mouse?
    att the mouse stor of cors

  • I thinketh I was awaketh
    but harketh!
    Me feetseth done fell asleepth
    while sittingeth in front of the
    computerith far too longeth
    and on bendeth feeteth
    I felleth over my own two feeteth and
    now my toeseth are covered in bloodeth!
    Long liveth the poetry!

  • I regardrth this exercise with what whit
    It slamath my brain crunchth my toes
    befanglesany witith my soul might crank.
    I feel like what monkey that sipith my coffee
    Yeah monkey,giveth mme a drink oft thy strongest brew,
    it glideth down my throat to sit glued in my stomach,
    caking my eyes wide with thy earnest challange.
    Let they tides ebb and whay-moon riseth and sitted
    sun blisterit my whit til thankful it hast sunk.
    ltith Curios George sup on a bananna and and drinkth the brew.
    Mine greatest hpe that not fallth off the chair and breakth his brain.
    Dig it,git it? Not I !