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Stuff You Need to Know: Fishburne to Fight Some Crime

Laurence Fishburne
Laurence Fishburne, natural badass.

  • CSI, in a desperate but brilliantly insidious attempt to get me to watch their show, are in talks with Laurence Fishburne to take the lead after William Petersen exits, as we mentioned was coming. In an attempt to…I’m not sure what this is for, but here’s the character description: “a doctor/scientist outsider to the CSI unit who has the same genetic profile as a serial killer but hasn’t previously acted on any homicidal impulses.” Um…okay. Each episode can start with, “Larry–kill anybody today?” Anyway, they’re so desperate to get me to watch, they have as their other top choices John Malkovich and Kurt Russell. They’re evil, evil bastards, I’m telling you. The producers–not Russell and Malkovich, mind you. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

  • Woodstock is getting an extra hour. The 40th anniversary is next year and on July 28th, Warner Brothers is releasing a new version with an extra hour of footage. This will contain unreleased performances by Joan Baez, Joe Cocker and The Who. It will hit Blu-Ray as well as an ulty collector’s edition of some unknown magnitude and “will come with a companion doc, “The ’60s and the Woodstock Generation,” and memorabilia likely including replicas of handwritten notes by festgoers and a draft card from that era.” Here’s what’s fascinating, though: they found eight hours of concert footage, so are they saving another hour for the 50th, or what? It might be rights issues–they’re trying to get Hendrix worked out as well as others. And CCR and the Grateful Dead have apparently never granted the rights for their performances to be issued. Which means, I assume, that there are bootlegs of this stuff floating around. Source: Variety.
  • Christopher Knight, formerly Peter Brady of the original Bunch is going to host the syndicated of the new Trivial Pursuit: America Plays TV game show. It starts September 22nd. Previously there was a game show where any country could play, simply called Trivial Pursuit, hosted by Wink Martindale. It appeared on The Family Channel. Here’s a taste, so you can see Wink at his most insincere:

    Terrifying. Source for America Plays: Variety.

    Direct link for the feedreaders.

  • Jackie Chan is on board The Spy Next Door, an action comedy where he’s babysitting kids and must confront secret agents after one of the kiddies gets hold of a secret code. Huh. I had no idea they were remaking The Pacifier. Source: Holllywood Reporter.
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  • In France, they’re seeing so many illegal pirate copies of films downloaded from the internet that it’s getting close to the number of people actually going to see the films. If they were smart, they’d figure out how to convert some of those people to paying customers, especially with those numbers. But if wishes were fishes, we’d all ride. Source: Variety.
  • Inglorious Bastards update: Tarantino has tapped Eli Roth to play a “baseball bat-swinging Nazi hunter.” Yes, the same Eli Roth who directed the two Hostel snuff-for-fun films. Brad Pitt is in talks to join the cast as “Aldo Raine, leader of a rogue band of Jewish-American soldiers who wreak havoc on the bad guys in Nazi-occupied France.” DiCaprio was up for an SS officer, but Tarantino has decided to cast a German actor instead. Swing away, Eli. Source: Variety.
  • Rock of Ages is a headed for Off-Broadway musical featuring songs from the 80s, including the works of Pat Benatar, Bon Jovi, Journey, Styx, Twisted Sister and Whitesnake. I know. You can pretty much write your own joke on that one. Previews start September 30th at New World Stages and opens October 16th. Source: Variety.
  • Christian Slater is starring in My Own Worst Enemy for NBC, which premieres October 13th in the time slot behind Heroes. He’s a suburban dad who is secretly a superspy. You know, I think this has promise–take the sensibility of Family Ties but throw guns in the mix. Or…hey, wait a second…you don’t think this could have started life as a Grosse Pointe Blank series, do you? Things that make you go… “Surely not.” Source: Hollywood Reporter.
  • Max Von Sydow is in The Tudors for four episodes this upcoming season. “Sydow will play Cardinal Von Waldburg, a German-born clergyman who tries to organize the defeat of Henry VIII (played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers).” The next season hits next year. Source: Variety.

  • Kevin Smith‘s Zack and Miri Make a Porno has had its NC-17 rating appealed and the MPAA has decided it’s really an R-rated film. So you seventeen year olds won’t have to worry about…oh, let’s face it. Nobody would know or care if you bought a ticket at sixteen, would they? By sixteen most kids have probably seen more pornos than Zack and Miri could make in five movies. You kids don’t know how good you’ve got it these days, I swear. Back in my day, most of the time you had to pay for porn. It was a less enlightened age, tis true. Source: Hollywood Reporter.