Stuff You Need to Know, Monday, November 24, 2008

Because some sites want to make you slog through a 400 word article to get 50 words worth of info. To hell with that. Enjoy.

In a move that should surprise nobody, the sequel to Twilight, New Moon, has been given the go-ahead. This after the film did an estimated $70M this weekend. Quantum of Solace dropped 59%+ in its second weekend, but don’t cry for it, it’s already broken a half-billion when you add in the overseas. Of course, it opened overseas first, but I still think it’ll match if not beat (slightly) Casino Royale when all is said and done. Disney’s got to be a bit perturbed about Bolt opening with just $27M, since they haven’t had something open that small in…a while. Anyway, if you’re the author of a vampire novel aimed at teens, then you are sitting on a stack of gold at the moment. Congratulations.

Arrested Development is looking to become a feature film. Excellent. That plan worked so well for Firefly, after all. Source: Variety.

Aaron Eckhart is on board to play the platoon leader in the previously mentioned Battle: Los Angeles. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

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Brian Dennehy has joined the cast of the pilot for Bunker Hill as a former mob guy who now owns a florist. I can totally see it. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

The Captain America movie moves forward as Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (the Narnia movies) are in talks to scribe it. Finally, we give them a movie they can inject big action sequences into where big action sequences are welcome. Bravo. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Peter Segal remains attached to helm the Captain Marvel (the DC version) for Warner Brothers–he’s been on board for two years, the article says, back when it was still at New line. John August (Corpse Bride) provided the script. By the fourth film, you’ll have Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr., Mary Marvel, three villains (Sivana, Mr. Mind, and Black Adam), and Tawky Tawny, motion-captured by Andy Serkis. Oh, and the Marvel costume will have nipples. I’m just warning you in advance. Source: Variety.

Well, hello, Breck Eisner. You now definitely have my attention. Timothy Olyphant has signed on board the Crazies remake, playing the town’s sheriff. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

For Siege and other fans of Kicksplode, we can report The Discovery Channel has greenlit The Detonators, thirteen episodes of splode and the science behind the splode. Two splodologists will be on hand to guide you through it. Executive producer Beth Dietrich was quoted as saying “Blah blah blowing things up blah blah blah blah blah blah.” I think she said something more than that, but that’s all we heard and/or cared about. Show hits in January. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Director Seth Gordon is directing Suicide Squad, we’re told. But since it’;s not the DC comic, we’re not really interested yet. What is of interest, though, is that he’s attached to a fictional version of the docu The King of Kong (which if you haven’t–there you go, you can thank me later) called The Only Living Boy in New York which is…an odd title, to say the least. There’s also a Freakonomics docu that he’s producing. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Steve Ellis is selling original artwork from the badass online werewolf western, High Moon. If interested, you can find all the info here.

High School stars Adrien Brody, Michael Chiklis, Yeardley Smith (Simpsons). It’s about two students who decide to “try to beat their high school drug test by getting the whole school stoned.” Nice. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

In a series of terrifying survey results, a study called “American Attitudes on Religion, Moral Values and Hollywood” reveals that, according to the survey, 49% of people “believe that the United States is becoming ‘too tolerant in its acceptance of different ideas and lifestyles'” and “Nearly 40% support the notion that ‘dangerous ideas should be banned from public school libraries,’ and nearly the same number disagree with the statement that ‘censoring books is an old-fashioned idea.'” Also, “61% of respondents agree that ‘religious values are under attack in this country,'” which I must admit–if your religious values are making you think that you have the right to dictate what ideas are “dangerous” and what lifestyles should be tolerated by the country as a whole, then you better damn well be certain you’re under attack 100% by me. In fact, what the survey doesn’t take into account is that this vast majority of uptight intolerant people who responded were only home to respond to the survey because they’re assholes and nobody ever calls to invite them out anywhere. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Ironbow: The Legend of William Tell will be helmed by Justin Chadwick (The Other Boleyn Girl) and is from a script by Jay Wolpert, who wrote the screen story for the first Pirates and thus cannot be convincted for the other two. The original title, Strongbow, was changed after talks with the maker of the cider broke down. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Jonah Hex has lost its directors. As mentioned previously, Crank scribes , which we previously mentioned were on board, have left due to creative differences. The script stays (for now), so does Josh Brolin. They want to kick off in the spring. Source: Variety.

So Universal has got a good deal going with the Ludlum estate, getting the exclusive rights to the Bourne character–which is no surprise, since they want Bourne 4 with a quickness, I’m sure (which we mentioned before). Source: Variety.

Monk‘s eighth season will be its last, this a decision from everybody involved to get while the getting’s good and also because it’s a pricey show to produce. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Nutty Professor 3? Apparently so. At least Universal is looking at it. No one here is surprised, I’m sure. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Oldboy is being remade by Will Smith and Spielberg. Mark Protosevich (I Am Legend co-writer) is in talks to scribe. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

Gris Grimly and Adam Parrish King will helm a new version of Pinocchio, based on Grimly’s illustrated version of the book (written by Carlo Collodi), executive produced by Guillermo “Inhuman Machine” Del Toro. It’s coming out from the Henson Company and will be stop motion. Source: Bloody Disgusting.

Robotech has scribes: Alfred Gough and Miles Millar (Smallville). This is from Warner Brothers, the same people who brought you both the new Batman movies and Superman Returns–which means it’s a total crapshoot as to how it will turn out…if it turns out. I’m expecting a “Beyonce as Minmei” announcement any day, though. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

The BBC has deigned to let Jonathan Ross keep his job. I’d just like to say that as the director of Americans for Ross and Brand, our offer still stands: sanctuary to Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand. I know the Brits I’ve heard from have been shattered that their country is acting so…well, like a bunch of whiny Americans complaining about a Jackson-boob, frankly…but we promise if we do get them, we will share. We’re not monsters. Well, most of us. Source: Variety.

So Variety has an article about the condition of the X-franchise on screen. We’ve got the Wolverine movie coming, then what? X-Men: First Class about the early days of the school. Magneto, of course. And Deadpool if the character makes a good showing in Wolverine. Fox is also apparently going to look at relaunching Daredevil. I’ll be amazed if First Class gets made, frankly. Deadpool too early to say, but Magneto? I still can’t imagine that’s going to be made either. But then again, we’re looking at a franchise that’s done better at the box office as its installments have increasingly turned to shit. The article states that the X-rights revert to Marvel in 2012 if projects aren’t in active development–and I never thought I would say this–but for the sake of the properties and comic book movies in general, I hope that’s exactly what happens.

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