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Soon Your Car Too Will Need Coffee

Too Much Coffee Man: powerful drug!

Around here we have a high opinion of coffee. Frankly, we have a high opinion of not sleeping, and coffee is just our favorite way of facilitating that. But soon coffee, the original wonder drug that works wonders, will be helping you do more than not fall asleep behind the wheel–it’ll help your wheels spin. Apparently given 5-7 kilograms of coffee grounds, you can get a liter of biofuel. And the cost of running your car, in essence, off of coffee grounds? About $1 a gallon.

The article says “The US estimates we consume over 7 tons of coffee each year, which would yield about 340 million gallons of biodiesel.” And one ton of that comes from our offices, so the staff and I here should go into the biodiesel business it sounds like.

I tried to find an accompanying video to demonstrate a coffee-fueled car, but the only thing I could find online was a thirty-second bit from one of the news channels, and the news performers on there always tend to sound like they’re trying to convince a six-year-old to do something that’s fun, honest. And as a result, I can’t stand those soulless bastards.

That being said: drink more coffee, everyone. Get addicted to coffee and it’ll help our addiction to oil! Everybody wins!

Image from the inevitable Too Much Coffee Man.

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