PLEASE NOTE: “As an Amazon Associate, [Need Coffee] earns from qualifying purchases." You know we make money from Amazon links,
and I know you know this, but they make us say it anyway. More info, click here.

Sex Quickies: Early X-mas Shopping

There’s a lot of sexy content floating about. I got these little news items and reviews and I didn’t want to try to fill out whole posts on them. So I figured I’d make one big thick post. Just think of it as little nibbles to your favorite area.

Since every other store has their Christmas displays out, I figured it’s a good as time as any to mention some sexy stocking stuffers.

  • balls-chandelier
    Click here for the full NSFW monty

    First on our Naughty List is an offering from Rock and Royal, maker of unique chandeliers. Why get the standard classic chandelier when you can have a lighting fixture guaranteed to start conversation. You can get them in the shape of various guns, musical instruments, and marine life. But for our purposes here, you can get it in… other shapes. You can check out the full picture by clicking on the thumbnail, but it may be considered not work safe.

  • [ad#rightpost]

  • Physicians recommend that for safe oral sex, you use a condom. This also avoids the awkward ‘spit or swallow’ question. But who wants the distraction of the taste of latex in your mouth. Fear not, because there is the McCondom, the condom that tastes like whiskey. Regretfully there is no information of the brand of whiskey that the flavor is modeled on. Instead of Dewar’s or Cutty Sark, you’re probably going to get generic whiskey flavor #3. Still, the irony factor alone is worth the purchase.
  • Now if you check out online hook-up sites, you know that people shave off a few pounds or a few years. But men should be up front about one statistic – the size of your “package”. It shows Mr. or Ms. Right Now that you’re honest where it counts. Don’t worry about your dimensions, not everyone is a size queen looking for twelve inches. For those who want confirmation though, use Condometric condoms to show how truthful you are. The condom comes in four fun colors and has inches for us Americans and the metric system for everyone else. Your partner will be so impressed with your frankness, they may not ask why a neurosurgeon lives in a fifth floor walk-up.
  • Condometric condoms
    Condometric--For Those With Nothing To Hide

  • Let’s say you’ve found that special someone. Someone who is a perfect fit intellectually, emotionally, and most importantly, physically. Yes, that Tab A is just right for your Slot B. But what to do if he’s not in the mood or away on a business trip? Why settle for imperfect substitutes where you can get the Understudy Vibrating Dildo Kit. Yes, in the privacy of your own home, you can make an elastomer cast of your lover’s member so you never need to shop off the rack. And you can even put a four inch vibrator into the cast for that little something extra. So never worry about your lover leaving you because you’re keeping the best part of him with you always.
  • While people should be proud to be sexual beings, there is such a thing as Too Much Information. People who visit your place for the first time shouldn’t have to stare at your vibrator collection or your stack of porn DVDs. Subtlety can be a good thing. Which is where the Form 2 vibrator really shines. If you look at the picture, your guess might be a odd knick-knack or a hand held stress reliever… which it actually is. The Form 2 vibrator is a collaboration by the notable industrial designer Yves Béhar and the high end creator of sexual accessories JimmyJane. So not only does it just ooze cool, it’s made of water-proof phthalate-free platinum silicone and stainless steel and has a rechargeable battery that lasts seven hours. Yes ladies SEVEN hours. That should plenty of joy to your world.
  • Yves Behar Form 2 vibrator
    The Form 2 vibrator - A horny little devil

    Naughty Bits Seal 100