Templar to Pope: You Better Recognize

Knights Templar Toaster by Marc Luscher

The Knights Templar are back and they’re pissed. They’re litigating against the Vatican for the seizure of their assets, the total value of which was described by one historian as “a screaming fuckton.” This occurred more than 700 years ago in a conspiracy between Pope Clement V and Philip IV of France whereby the leaders of the Templar were delivered beatdowns and all of the Templar’s stuff was confiscated.

The Association of the Sovereign Order of the Temple of Christ has launched a court case to get Pope Benedict to “recognise” the seizure of their assets. Which, if I were the Pope, I would say, “Let me see…let me see…oh yes, we did that. Next.”

The group’s statement says: “We are not trying to cause the economic collapse of the Roman Catholic Church…” Bloody hell, why not? “…but to illustrate to the court the magnitude of the plot against our Order.” Um…isn’t that magnitude in history books? “Exhibit A, your honor: a book on 14th Century History. The Holy See rests.”

Personally, I think we need some sort of class action lawsuit against the Catholic Church, come to think of it. The Templar might have had their reputation destroyed and their stuff taken, but this incident launched hundreds of hours of lame documentaries on the History Channel, not to mention the career of Dan Brown. So, I ask you: who’s suffered more?

Image: Marc Luscher.

By | 2017-09-24T23:14:39+00:00 August 5th, 2008|Stimuli|0 Comments

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