The passing of Michael Jackson has made it absolutely imperative for the entertainment industry to crown a new King of Pop.
The current void in the music world of a King of Pop is one that will not be easily overcome. After all who could replace Elvis, Sinatra, Biggie, 2Pac, Johnny Cash, and now Michael? Could it be Tori Amos, Tom Petty, Ryan Adams or even Kelly Clarkson?
Selecting a King of Pop is a difficult task that requires a legitimate resume and a musical depth unmatched in scope. One thing is certain; the music world needs an icon for the people. Someone who can be looked up to and revered as a songwriter and performer of genius and brilliance.
To that end, I offer up a solution. The NEW and undisputed King of Pop is Don Music.
Music was artistically inactive for most of the 1980s and ’90s after a series of brain concussions caused by “lyrical breakdowns.” In the early ’90s Music overcame an addiction to painkillers and weathered an investigation over the mysterious death of his first wife. The new century began with a nasty royalty suit with Kermit the Frog. Nearly broke, Music began work on his unfinished Musical about Beethoven and got session work in Vegas.
Music’s comeback began with his infamous 2000 interview with Kurt Loder when a manic Music insisted that he was the father of the genre of punk piano. A claim later backed up by John Peel and Malcolm McLaren. His painful confessions of artistic temperance moved over thirteen million viewers. Music’s recounting of how exclusion from the recording of “We Are the World” thrust him into seclusion sent Loder into tears on national television.
In 2001, Music unsuccessfully sued John Williams for copyright infringement claiming the composer stole his score for Star Wars. In 2002 Music’s luck changed when he won a Lifetime Achievement Grammy. A bestselling box set and TV appearances soon followed. After decades of success in Japan and Europe, America was finally taking notice. Music’s ghost wrote two hits in the early naught decade, “Hey Jupiter” for Tori Amos and “Brick” for Ben Folds. He recently declined producing a new album for Regina Spektor over artistic differences.
Music’s work on Sesame Street has been deemed iconic in recent years. He is currently hard at work on his first novel. Rumors of a tour with Billy Joel and Elton John persist without comment from Music’s publicist, Guy Smiley.