It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck…the podcast that knows jokes are better when you don’t have to explain them…so it doesn’t ever explain itself. At all. Ever.
Our bookended panels for DragonCon–our annual Make the Bad Men Stop madness for the X-Track–which began with this post, now ends with this one. It’s the last day of Con, so we were very happy to be A) in a room jam packed with an audience ready to party and 2) they were as loopy as we were. Thanks to Jon and Tuffley (both of them recorded this mayhem).
It’s Weekend Justice: the podcast that is never on the right side of the door, at least as far as it’s concerned. This podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.
- Rox: Axe Artist!
- Hobo Batman!
- Leigh vs. Siegfried & Roy
- Leigh understands bopping…at last
- Leigh sticks the landing
- Cylon Dion!
- The Gymnast!
- KIDS, Inc. terrifying sing-along
- Pixelated cocks
- Barn raising
- How Waffle House equals civilization
- Jesus Chicken on Sunday?
- Tool Wine!
- Alcohol Report
- Height jokes and garden gnomes
And we’re back. Please note: this podcast, if you haven’t figured it out, is profane and not safe for consumption by children or animals. Or sentient creatures of any sort. Or even cardboard boxes. Nothing. Nobody. Got it?
- Leigh vs. zombie Aaron
- Widge’s knifeplay
- Jamaican green ginger wine from Jamaica
- Aaron explains France
- Jon vs. Hellpuppy Kora
- Penis Thief!
- Spazhouse anniversary!
- Art scavenger hunt
- Graffiti mafia!
- Exit Through the Gift Shop
- Bill Nye, revisited
- Din’s Pokyball
- Mint julep cups
- Jon’s muddler
- Mint julep and mojitos
- Sims update?
- Crouching Tiger Syndrome
- Ang Lee Spoilers!
So this remake is out on a three-disc set from Fox. As for the trailer, we’ve already discussed that here, so enjoy. We’ve got three copies of the set to give away thanks to our friends at Fox–so if you want to win, do this: enter using the form below. Enter once a day even, as though a giant robot were looking over your shoulder. And you can enter all our contests once a day. We draw your name out of the prize sombrero at the end of the contest, you win. So good luck.
We are gathered here because lots of pop culture crap goes on in the world. You don’t have time to keep up with it. Neither do we, but we drew the short straw. So here you go. Served staccato style.
Weren’t we just talking about Keanu in one of our panels? Here, it’s Keanu and Forest Whitaker and Hugh Laurie in a cop flick based on a story by James Ellroy. We’ve got three copies of the special edition here, so if you want to win it: go ahead and enter. And remember: you can enter once a day.
The Day The Earth Stood Still, the remake of which is now called The Day The Earth Was Apparently Devoured By Alien Tornadoes, has a trailer online today:
“If you die, the Earth survives.” Oh come on. That’s a bit much, isn’t? The first Hulk movie wasn’t that bad, Keanu. And hasn’t she suffered enough for her role in it? Step off, man.
Update: You know, now that I look at this again–having traded out the embedded video for one that works, it’s like Jerry Bruckheimer’s Stranger in a Strange Land, isn’t it?
Written & Directed by The Brothers Wachowski
Starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Mary Alice
My Advice: Rent the DVD when it comes out for the FX, otherwise skip it.
We’re right where we left off in the last film: Neo (Reeves) is in a coma, Bane (Ian Bliss) has somehow gotten Agent Smith (Weaving) inside of him, Zion is about to get its tits shot off, and Morpheus (Fishburne) is feeling like a dumbass because, seemingly, the Oracle (now played by Alice after the untimely death of Gloria Foster) lied. Now Neo’s lost somewhere between worlds and if he doesn’t get back soon, then the human race is toast.
Congratulations, Brothers Wachowski! You’ve given us the worst third movie in a series since Superman III. Or, since you’re comic fans, I’ll put it another way: you’ve given us the cinematic equivalent of Secret Wars II. After the completely brilliant setup of the second film, the brothers manage to fumble the ball in a spectacular, tragic way. The first film set up everything, the second debunked the first film and the third film manages to disappoint almost from jump: after a completely pointless opening sequence, the highlight of which is people running upside down and shooting, we’re treated to an endless series of missed opportunities. All of those neat questions you conceived from the enigmas in the second film? None of them are answered. And they’re not even not-answered in that, “Ooh, we’re being mysterious and mystical and cheerily obtuse” way–you know, the one that can be endearing and thought-provoking. No, no. They’re just not addressed. At all. Which is amazing, considering that this film is even “talkier” than the second–the difference being the second film’s dialogue had meat to it. This time around, we’re given nothing but third-rate overwrought “heart felt” garbage, with none of the philosophy or banter that makes the series function.
Written and Directed by: The Brothers Wachowski
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Harold Perrineau
My Advice: Don’t Miss It.
In the latest installment, Neo (Reeves), having recently found out that he’s the savior of the human race (no pressure!), is having troubles sleeping. He keeps having dreams that his girlfriend and fellow asskicker, Trinity (Moss), is meeting her demise at the hands of Agents. Still with Morpheus (Fishburne) and now new crew member, Link (Perrineau), they’re all waiting for word from the Oracle (Gloria Foster) as to what the hell it is they’re supposed to do next. However, they’re going to be given some trouble by a rival captain in the human resistance (Harry Lennix) and also the return of Agent Smith (Weaving), who’s learned some new and deadly tricks.
I was afraid of this film; I admit it. I was afraid mostly because so much time had elapsed since the first film and so much had changed in the cinema, that the Wachowskis would miss their window of opportunity. Instead, I’m pleased to report, they pulled it off. One half of it, anyway. And the testicular fortitude required to pull off the film I’ve just seen boggles the mind. They knew the standard had been raised and they met it and leapt right over it.