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Breaking News: Ohio School Officials Need to Receive “The Talk”


In Canton, Ohio, there is a 13% teen pregnancy rate at Timken High School. That’s bad enough news. But here’s the thing that really blows my mind:

School officials are not sure what has caused so many pregnancies…

Aren’t sure what–? It’s called teenagers having sex! Spontaneous generation is a myth, people! Unless you’ve got 65 immaculate conceptions on your hands, the reason they are with child is because these young ladies made the beast with two backs with some guy. Okay?

Don’t make us send Scott up there to teach some classes.

God. Found via Dave Barry.