The technology has been tested, and it works.
While we regret that some coprophages were killed in the development of this new process, their lives will not have been lost in vain. Science has learned from the clever, industrious Ampulex wasp how to lobotomize roaches (and people with the brains of roaches) and drive them like the zombies they are. It merely requires the use of a slender stinger and a few million years of evolution.
The Glorious Revolution pledges to use this awesome advancement responsibly; to wit, we will only lobotomize rednecks, and drive them to libraries, poetry slams, and other places that will Do Them Good. Or perhaps women who use small dogs as an accessory, or people who think it's funny to abuse me about "food with faces."
Thanks to Boing Boing for this very gross heads-up.