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Adverse Video Review: The Wraith: He’s Not From Around Here

DVD cover art of The Wraith

Oh no, not another 1980s-teen-drama-action- space-invader-that-drives-a-racecar-but-is-the-real-hero-movie!

The trick to watching this cult classic wannabe is not to. But if you like having that good old friendly upchuck feeling at the back of your throat on occasion and you don’t do porn, then The Wraith is upchucktastic!

The Cover says it all friends. Staring Charlie Sheen, Randy Quaid, Sherilyn Fenn (hot), and Nick Cassavetes. With Music Performed by Ozzy Osborne, Billy Idol, and Robert Palmer. Are you pumped yet?

He’s a phantom/wraith/we don’t know what he is but he looks kinda cool in that motorcycle helmet/alien who was human? But dies? Comes back and races his killers into the ground?

Okay, like you, when I read the cover of this I danced a bit in my chair but having watched the film it is actually more like an early episode of Saved by the Bell. Yet it isn’t set in a high school but on the mean streets of a desert town?

Why the questions? Well because after watching this I still don’t know what this “Wraith” thing actually is. doesn’t even know what genre this film is, “Action / Horror / Thriller / Sci-Fi / Romance more.” The film itself doesn’t even know what is going on, “Rughead: ‘This gang thing was okay when we had the edge, but now that there’s that wraith out there that killed Oggie…’ Gutterboy: ‘A what out there, man?’ Rughead: ‘A wraith, man! A ghost! An evil spirit and it ain’t cool.'”

The car from The Wraith

Maybe it is the first invasion of the wraith from Stargate Atlantis minus the 80s-tastic suit and helmet? I’m not sure and if you can stand the vomit to watch this film, let me know. And could someone else explain to me how a “Wraith” wearing a motorcycle helmet could drive that Dodge MS4?

Damnit Mike Marvin (director/writer) what were you on? The only redemption The Wraith gets from this reviewer is that it is a love story with a bit of the old soft-core porn and Charlie Sheen plays the Alien. Boy, wasn’t this a foreshadowing. I think someone owes me five bucks.

Directed & Written by: Mike Marvin

Cast: Charlie Sheen (Major League, The Chase), Nick Cassavetes (director of Alpha Dog and Blow), Sherilyn Fenn (Boxing Helena, Of Mice and Men), Randy Quaid (needs no references, he’s Randy Fucking Quaid), Matthew Berry (Alpha Dog, The Notebook, and Mars Attacks), David Sherrill (Major League II, The Pigs), James Bozian (Con Air, Wishman), Clint Howard (if you don’t know this man you should), and oh yes–a barely legal Brooke Burke.

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Running Time: 93 minutes (1hr and 33 minutes)

Average Film Rating: 4.5 out of 10
Bad B-Movie Rating: 2 out of 10

Bob-o-Meter Rating: My Eyes!!!… Why!?… Meh… Good… Great… Yes!… Badass… Awesome… Holy Shit, Man!

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  • Classic lines like, (Skank- Let’s go scare-up some pouzil someplace… (Gutterboy)- That’s Real good,,,cause im a 4 day virgin. & (Sherriff Loomis) Skank & Gutterboy got “LUNCHED-OUT” at the warehouse. & (Loomis) He was “MAGGETPIED” before the car even exploded. & (Loomis) to (Skank) “Your brain is on chemical overload from that “ZOMBIE_PISS” you been drinkin. Randy Quaid’s best part, in my opinion. Yea, there’s some cheesy parts, bad writing, & bad acting but, overall it’s a classic. Good cinematograpy during the car chase scenes.

  • No worries, Hoardak, it’s cool. I’m sure Charlie Sheen really appreciates your support. That being said, Zombie Piss is a terrible name for a band.

  • Your review is shallow man. You didn’t touch on any of the great things in this movie. Its the best car movie ever. Do you enjoy the fast and the furious more? Very corny.

  • You are just another kid who thinks can write a review about classic movie. You should live in that time to see the charm of this movies.

  • This is a classic movie? Man, when you discover they made movies before 1980 your head’s going to explode. Oh, to be you. OH TO BE YOU.

  • Although there are elements of the movie i didn’t like, they do not outweigh the fun I had watching Packard and his fuck boys getting killed. Obviously the enemies were slaves to Packard, even after being threatened by knife point. They were only threatening in their lack of respect for themselves and there inclination to do whatever Pacard said. That being said I would have wooped Packards ass the minute he started with that, Listen Guy! shit.

  • I think it is customary to give a little description of the movie before you infect us with the diatribe you call your review. The movie is not the greatest, the story was so-so. When I first saw this movie my friends and I sat through the whole thing and I found nothing that hard to understand. The Wraith was the vengeful spirit of Charlie Sheen’s character. 20 some odd years later I still remember the movie. That means something, test of time, that sound familiar? The car was the true star of the movie and probably the one reason I watched the movie. For years, up until today, I thought it was a Pontiac Banshee, found out that it was not. Doesn’t matter. Some people forget that movies are entertainment. If it doesn’t entertain you, move on.
    “There is nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?” Randall-Clerks (but you probably spent more time criticizing it than watching the film for what it was, entertainment.)

  • “If it doesn’t entertain you, move on.” Good advice. Otherwise you might end up adding around 170 words of unique content to a review you obviously didn’t find entertaining–some of them very rich keywords I might add–that would increase that unentertaining review’s Google standing and draw more people to its clutches. And I know you wouldn’t be so foolish as to let that happen, right?