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The Gift That Keeps On Giving: A Zombie Emergency Kit

Zombie Survival Kit by Tyrisian!

You know, being a brother comes with lots of responsibilities. There’s a great deal of physical and mental abuse that goes into growing up with a sibling, both coming and going. If you’re older, like me, it’s mostly going. And it’s exhausting work. But nothing like the exhaustion you feel when you realize that your siblings have had the last laugh by being smarter than you. And they’ve grown up to ultimately have better paying jobs than you. This is mostly because you realize your parents had you first so you could make all the mistakes and thus your younger siblings could learn from your bad example and improve themselves in plenty of time to succeed.

It takes a lot of energy and humility to just deal with it and move on. Oh. And chemicals. Chemicals help with this, too.

I think all the older brothers here know what I mean.

But anyway, brotherhood, whether younger or older, eventually you have to share what little knowledge you have that they don’t. Because despite all the noogies and shaving of eyebrows, family means something. And family ultimately means that one day you must sit your brother down and have The Talk. Yes, you know The Talk I mean…

The one about zombies.

Our reader Tyrisian has obviously had this Talk with his brother, because took his inspiration from such previously featured kits as this one and this one and decided to make his brother a kit for Xmas.

You can see the full gallery of gear here. And we applaud Tyrisian for his efforts (especially substituting an oar for a cricket bat when no cricket bat would present itself), but we would only have one criticism: bravo for including the Zombie Survival Guide, but I hope that’s a backup copy. Because the time to read that book is before you have to break the glass. Beyond that, amigo: well done.

P.S. Am I the only one who’s pondered how many people who had never heard of cricket before were introduced to the concept of the game, at least some of it (since I’m not sure anyone completely understands it), via a zombie movie?

P.P.S. And I’d like to offer up the idea that if any of our Canadian friends north of here decide to make a zombie comedy, they should include a curling broom as a weapon just for the sheer hilarity of the concept.

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  • Thanks for the inspiration. Being a younger brother, I am a little worried that my older sibling has never seen fit to have the zombie talk with me.

    I suspect if it came down to it, he’d put himself first. So I’m preparing without him.