Coke, I Hope You’re Happy

That’s right. You still haven’t offered up Coca-Cola Prime like I told you to. And this year you apparently didn’t make enough kosher Coke because I couldn’t find any in the wild during the whole of Passover. So look what you made me do. You made buy some imported Coke just to get a taste of Coke without high fructose corn syrup. You silly bastards. I hope you’re happy. You’re lucky Pepsi tastes like stale Coke, otherwise I’d switch to Pepsi Raw and leave you behind.

Heartless bastards.

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