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BK Crown Card: So… Where’s Ours?

Burger King BK Crown Card

Apparently there is a BK Crown Card–a very rare card that entitles the cardholder to unlimited free Burger King food. This revealed by Hugh Laurie bringing up the subject–and thus becoming reportedly the twelfth recipient of one. Just for pushing Burger King’s products. Same thing with the likes of Robert Downey Jr. and George Lucas.

So here’s my question: where’s ours?

Yes, I know, we committed an affront to God and nature by bringing back the Burger King from whatever pocket hell he had been banished to. Soon after we invoked him at one of our Gonzo Film Fests, he re-appeared to terrorize people in commercials right and left in a new and even more disturbing form. And we are honestly and sincerely sorry about that, we assure you. But since we’re going to hell for it anyway, we might as well get some free burgers out of the deal, right?

I ran this by Ken, who is equally guilty of this dark deed. He responded, “Death to McDonald’s. Just give us the goddamn card.” So we’re in violent agreement.