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Wayhomer Review #60: Fast Five

Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson from Fast Five

Episode #60 for Fast Five, in which our protagonist discusses the practical application of “Stupidity Capital” and “The Armageddon Principle,” reiterates his willingness to go to stupid places, and marvels at how much one man can sweat.

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Special thanks to PhantomV48 for the closing animation.

Previous episode here.


  • Chris: You say “yes” as though you’re agreeing with my review…and that’s definitely not what I was trying to get across. So…yeah. Thanks for the comment regardless.

  • “the only way this film could be more ludicrous is if they actually cast Ludacris in it.” the reason this is such a POOR review…… Ludacris IS IN THE FILM!!!!. did you even watch it? i thought it was an awesome thrill ride begining to end, had a faily good plot. AMAZING action. i dont think any movie has everu sestroyed so many cars, and in the steerts of Rio? NICE. i am by no means a “ricer” but i do happen o have a very fast and well built talon and even i can appreciate this film. even though there are alot of stereo types in it i thought it was WELL WORTH it and one of the best films i have seen this season.

  • Patrick: So let me get this straight: you came here from Rotten Tomatoes to write a review of my review, accusing me of not watching the film…when you obviously didn’t watch my review. Which makes you…hilarious. Thanks for the comment. Made my evening.

  • Reviewing a Fast and Furious film while driving seems oddly more dangerous than your normal Way Homers.

  • That was actually a stunt person and not the real me. Uncanny likeness, I know. But thanks for the concern.


  • This is on my top movies list for this year…what does that mean? Well I had fun, which is all you can really ask for with a movie like this. When The Rock is on or when people are in cars the movie kicks ass. Everything else is a B-movie Ocean’s Eleven with characters we never really liked from movies we really don’t like admitting we watch.

    The Rock owns this film. No one in their right mind watched The Toothfairy and yes I know he wanted to do movies his daughter would watch but after The Rundown where Arnold says “Have fun” we expect Terminator, Commando, Expendables fun…NOT Escape to Witch Mountain….anywho…yes he sweats. Actually it was lube…really. But I almost agree with the Armaggedon part except for one thing….

    They always win. It’s not a question of how or why or can they…it’s how they will. The best part in the whole movie is the street race scene, because there isn’t one. They say “we need a car” and it’s back to the original underground street race and there’s really no point in showing the race because you KNOW they’ll win, there would be no tension. So you see them driving to the race, you see the idiot mocking them, you see them smiling at each other…boom…end of scene. It cuts to them driving the car they won away…

    Then there’s the Black Hawk Down scene ripped from Clear and Present Danger where the Suburbans get hit with RPG’s in the front and the back…it was gritty, cool, and something totally unique.

    Bottom line the dialog was weak, the characters sucked other than Vin and The Rock, and it was the definition of an action summer movie…way better than most other films this summer too