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Not News: Caffeine Will Protect You From the Dayball

Evil Dayball

So Scott sent this over: io9 is reporting on a new study that links caffeine with protecting your ass (not to mention the rest of you) from skin cancer. This in itself is not news, as we reported on a BBC article literally–holy crap, to the date–four years ago that said the same. The devil is in the details, however. Previously, it was shown that caffeine helped increase the body’s ability to get rid cancerous/damaged cells. Now it appears it also keeps cancerous cells from forming in the first place. We had linked to an article from 2002 saying that caffeinated lotions are a good weapon against skin cancer, whereas io9 links to a quick abstract on a study…from 1986.

So again, caffeine is your friend. The Sun is a necessary evil that will kill you if it can. Some of you, like I do, can only go outside during the daylight hours because your shoes are lined with the soil of your native earth. But all of us could do with some caffeinated sunscreen.

Here’s what’s amazing: a quick Googling shows that nobody actually sells any. Which is weird. The closest I can find is from ThinkGeek, which io9 rightly links to as well: Shower Shock Caffeinated Body Wash.

Of course, until somebody comes up with some…you could do the sensible thing and just stay the hell inside. I mean, honestly, besides sunlight…there’s people out in the world. Seriously.