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Mountain Dew Spark – Drink Review

A bottle of Mountain Dew Spark. Looking a sickly color of pink. Which is actually not the real life color.

So, this Mountain Dew variant–first things first. It doesn’t look this sickly pink in real life. I couldn’t find the lighting to enable me to take a photo of its true color. Evolved defense mechanism? Unsure. Regardless, it’s a much brighter pink than the pic conveys.

So, when the bottle is opened, the smell is straight up Mountain Dew. In fact, I don’t think I can break the scent down further than that. There’s just something about how Mountain Dew smells: a high concentration of sugar and regret.

I guess based on my other recent Mountain Dew adventure, I was expecting there to be the taste of Mountain Dew, yes, but added to that the taste of the bottle having been waved in the direction of a raspberry lemonade stand. Which was closed. However, to my shock and surprise it actually delivered on its promise…the taste is definitely raspberry lemonade, and comes across as hugely sugary sour. But it’s not like they added some raspberry lemonade to Mountain Dew…it’s more like they melted down some raspberry lemonade candy and poured that resin (or whatever it turned into) into a Mountain Dew. Like a sour raspberry lemonade Mento. Or three.

I know it promised “a blast of raspberry lemonade flavor with other natural flavors.” And the way that’s phrased, it implies that the raspberry lemonade is a natural flavor. But there is nothing natural about this concoction. A new brand of energy drink (I forget the name) has joined forces with candy brands to put out hybrid beverages. That’s what this tastes like (except with high fructose corn syrup instead of the fake sugars those new drinks have—that’s why I’m not reviewing those too).

What might surprise you is that after all that, I’m not going to give this a negative review. When I was a kid, you know, back in 1834, before I even knew I had a pancreas, something like this would have been Amazing. These days I don’t go for such intense sugar experiences, but it’s nice for nostalgia reasons. And also nice to document this so if this does kill me, the coroner will know what happened.