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The Oatmeal on Nikola Tesla
Posted on 05.14.12 by Wolven @ 10:16 pm
David Bowie is Tesla

David Bowie, standing in for Tesla. He too has Wizard Eyes.

Thanks to The Oatmeal, the world now knows that Nikola Tesla had what the kids at "Adventure Time!" aptly termed Stanky Old Wizard Eyes*.

And, really, is that surprising? The man was a Ghat Danged LIGHTNING WIZARD. In an age when people were still using the fart stank residue from oil wells to light their homes, Nikola Tesla created wireless electrical transmission and used it in his house. He showed off his ability to create ball lightning to his friend Mark Twain. And then...!

I mean... Just... WHAT THE HELL, people?!

I tell you this, for free: If I had a time machine, the first thing I'd do is go forward in time, dig up Tesla's corpse from the monument at which I'll have it buried, then I'd go back in time to the moment of Tesla's "death." I'd swap out his corpse for him, and bring him back to the present, where Modern-Day medical tech--much of which owes its existence to him--could revive and nurse him back to health. Just so he could SEE it, you know? Just so he could take it all in, and understand how much we rely on even the smallest of his works, and so he could do maybe ONE last thing with that mind of his.

That's what I'd use a time machine for. Yes.

[[ More this way... ]]

File Under: Stimuli
Comments: 2 Comments



Headsup: Ghosts, Spies, Musicians and Human Monsters
Posted on 05.14.12 by Widge @ 2:35 am

There's a lot of stuff that comes out all the time, and the companies are want your attention and mostly...your coin. But, you know, it's your coin and you have to take care where you spend it. With these posts we try to take you through recent releases so you can make up your mind. If you find the info here to be of use, do us a favor and purchase stuff from Amazon through us. Especially if you were going to buy the stuff anyway. That gives us kickbacks, which help pay for things. Like the server. And coffee. And therapy. We thank you.

Innkeepers Blu-Ray
Thou Shalt Not Kill Except Blu-Ray
Wicker Tree Blu-Ray

[[ More this way... ]]

File Under: Headsup
Comments: None




The Avengers (2012) - 27 Second Review
Posted on 05.12.12 by Siege @ 11:51 pm
Thor Avengers poster by Mondo

Written by: Joss Whedon, based on a story by Zak Penn & Whedon, which was in turn based on the comic created by Stan Lee & Jack Kirby
Directed by: Joss Whedon
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Samuel L. Jackson, Cobie Smulders, Clark Gregg, Tom Hiddleston

Review: As a Batman Loyalist, I hesitate to say this is the greatest comic book movie of all time, but only for a second. Because it was the GREATEST comic book movie of all time. The action was awesome, no character was under-utilized, and there were four separate instances that made me fall out of my chair laughing with glee. Also because the Hulk is my spirit animal. See it, and be more awesome for it.

Time: 20 seconds

(more...)

File Under: 27 Seconds and Reviews
Comments: 2 Comments



Wayhomer Review #118: Dark Shadows (2012)
Posted on 05.12.12 by Widge @ 1:36 am

Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins in Dark Shadows

Episode #118 for Dark Shadows, in which our protagonist likes Depp, Pfeiffer and not much else. He postulates this is his fault as he was expecting a comedy to be funny. He also for once wishes the trailer had been accurate.
(more...)

File Under: Reviews and Video Podcasts and Wayhomers
Comments: 3 Comments



Your Weekend Justice #159: Sally Field and the King of the Mole People
Posted on 05.11.12 by Widge @ 5:44 am

It's Weekend Justice: the Internet's #1 audio trainwreck. It's the podcast that is outrageous. Truly outrageous. This podcast was engineered--some might say over-engineered--by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

Turtle Oven

Agenda:

  • Leigh and meds
  • Andy Griffith outtakes
  • Multiple attempts to discuss Russian politics...finally, success
  • Massive Avengers Cast!
  • Scott vs. volume. Repeatedly.
  • Serv vs. Kirsten Dunst
  • Saturday Night which?
  • Harry Dean Stanton
  • Time tampons
  • Ethnicity and comics
  • Comics and continuity
  • The Expendable 2
  • North Carolina, redneck central
  • The emptiness of life and Gobots
  • Where is MASK? Wait, for God's sake, we were talking about MASK!
  • Furbies and espionage
  • Rob's Dark Shadows review
  • [[ More this way... ]]

    File Under: Podcasts and Weekend Justice
    Comments: None



    Wayhomer Review #117: The Avengers 3D (2012)
    Posted on 05.05.12 by Widge @ 3:21 am

    Thor, Iron Man and Captain America from The Avengers

    Episode #117 for The Avengers 3D, in which our protagonist is so drunk with glee he has to get Bailey to drive (and co-review), thinks Disney is feeling a lot better about their year and only has one nit that he has to pick. Otherwise, this is him drunk on just the film. He wants to make that clear.
    [[ Vid this way... ]]

    File Under: Reviews and Video Podcasts and Wayhomers
    Comments: 9 Comments



    Your Weekend Justice #158: The Worst Podcast Ever (Arguably)
    Posted on 05.04.12 by Widge @ 3:08 am

    It's Weekend Justice: the Internet's #1 audio trainwreck. It's the podcast that only has a certain amount of games, so if too many people get game, the podcast falls off track. And onto the third rail. And its keys. At the same time. This podcast was engineered--some might say over-engineered--by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.

    Howard Cosell and Gabe Kaplan in Battle of the Network Stars

    Agenda:

  • This is only a test
  • Way too much information about somebody's mom's arse
  • Miss Henkle is missing!
  • Airing out the Sound Board
  • The Post-Dystopian Society
  • Hook Finn!
  • Smug Avengers bastardy
  • Rox's new art project
  • The jig is up
  • The Smiths vs. the government
  • Monk complaints
  • Don Cheadle potshots
  • Zac Efron baiting!
  • Three Stooges movie and the end of the world
  • Never podcast sober
  • Musical games
  • [[ More this way... ]]

    File Under: Podcasts and Weekend Justice
    Comments: None



    Kids, Ask Your Parents: The Long Road to The Avengers
    Posted on 05.03.12 by Widge @ 4:18 pm
    Avengers Japanese poster

    The difference between Nick Fury the regular guy and Nick Fury the hero? The pose, baby. Just the pose.

    That's right, finally tonight at midnight we Americans--currently frothing at the mouth and wanting to strangle our smug friends across the pond--will get to see The Avengers. But it occurs to me that some of you might not appreciate what it took to get to this moment, when for the first time we have an actual movie universe unfolding on screens. And no, I don't count something like Star Wars or Star Trek because those have their own movies. Really, the closest thing I can think of is the Godzilla series, but that was more, as I understand it, an accident of, "Well, let's try this...will it make money?" I could be wrong. But with Avengers, a comic book company that evolved into a film company decided to take their premise of individual comics happening in a single universe and bring it to the screen with a deliberate plan--that's what I'm talking about.

    But there was a time, dear reader--especially you younger readers--when the tools to make something like The Avengers simply weren't available. And I mean everything: FX, costume fabrics, hell--a time when actors would find it worth their while to sign on for a franchise like this.

    We're big believers in context. And in posterity. So I urge you--if you're not doing the $40 Avengers Movie Marathon tonight--have your own movie marathon...of the Avengers-esque films that have come before. Here's some recommendations.

    [[ More this way... ]]

    File Under: Stimuli
    Comments: None



    Headsup: Leading Ladies, Leading Vampires and a Rogue Sandman
    Posted on 04.28.12 by Widge @ 5:58 pm

    There's a lot of stuff that comes out all the time, and the companies are want your attention and mostly...your coin. But, you know, it's your coin and you have to take care where you spend it. With these posts we try to take you through recent releases so you can make up your mind. If you find the info here to be of use, do us a favor and purchase stuff from Amazon through us. Especially if you were going to buy the stuff anyway. That gives us kickbacks, which help pay for things. Like the server. And coffee. And therapy. We thank you.

    Iron Lady Blu-Ray
    Logans Run: Complete Series DVD
    Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol Best Buy Exclusive Blu-Ray

    [[ More this way... ]]

    File Under: Headsup
    Comments: 3 Comments



    Wayhomer Review #116: The Raven (2012)
    Posted on 04.27.12 by Widge @ 8:36 pm

    John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe in The Raven (2012)

    Episode #116 for The Raven, in which our protagonist praises Cusack for an awesome performance as Poe (in a single scene), also praises Sparky the Wonder Raccoon and finally damns this film for doing a literary version of how Transformers 3 ruined a perfectly good moon landing conspiracy idea.
    [[ Vid this way... ]]

    File Under: Reviews and Video Podcasts and Wayhomers
    Comments: 5 Comments



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