Bruce Willis in G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Okay, there's lots of things that happen on a pop culture basis. You don't have time to read a site that wants to pick them apart one by one. So we try to make the process as painless as possible so you can be up to speed. Thus, we will do a drive-by commentary, so to speak. That's the plan with catching up on trailers--we got a bit behind with the holidays attacking us like they did. So here we go.

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Prometheus looks utterly and bewilderingly amazing. Already on my list because Ridley Scott has invoked the Idris Elba Clause (which is also going to force me to go see Ghost Rider 2 but so be it), this trailer just drives the point home. I have no idea if it's an Alien prequel or not and Do Not Care. (Yes, I know that they're saying it's not really a prequel but remember, Hollywood also believes in the use of the term "re-imagination." So take Nothing at face value.) Please note that Michael Fassbender is also in it because by law he must be in freaking everything these days.

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The G.I. Joe: Retaliation trailer is impressive in that it has done more to make me want to see a franchise I didn't give a shit about--even more than Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Granted, all that trailer had going for it was Simon Pegg and Brad Bird. But the action, the Glitch Mob remix of White Stripes, the action, and the absolutely brilliant casting of Bruce Willis as the original G.I. Joe (yes, the first action doll figure whatever) has me sold. Oh and the fact that Stephen Sommers is gone is a huge plus.

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The Hobbit: Part 1, or as it's officially known, The Hobbit: The Unexpected Attempt to Keep From Actually Calling It The Hobbit Part 1, is an example of a trailer that gives you everything you want. We get to see the delightful Martin Freeman as the young Ian Holm (excellent casting). We get to see the characters we're getting back. And we get to see the characters from the book that everybody was curious about seeing. Yes, the damn thing's not out for another year, but this really throws down the gauntlet for 2012 expectations.

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Curious as to why we should give a shit about Rock of Ages, based on the Broadway musical and featuring people singing music you probably would never normally want to hear them sing? Well, it does bring Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin on screen together--which, let's face it, we all want to see. And it's got Tom Cruise in "non-Tom Cruise mode," the same mode that brought you Tropic Thunder. So I'm in.

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The Expendables 2...sadly, I don't see it being an improvement over the first film. But when you have that much action starrage on the screen, it simply must be seen. Points to them for getting Chuck Norris and Van Damme in this one as they couldn't for the last one. Points also to Siege for the best comment: "Didn't know the Hemsworths were like action Fannings." Yes.

Yes, there are some other trailers we could post. Dark Knight Rises...but everyone's seen it and dissected it and I really have nothing to add to the discussion except another thirty seconds of "Holy shit!" Men In Black 3...sure, but despite Josh Brolin looking like the best younger casting since Rob Lowe totally channeled Robert Wagner for Spy Who Shagged Me, I can't get excited about it--the second one was simply that bad. And The Dictator...Sacha Baron Cohen is a genius and I hope he has really good bodyguards.

There you go. Trailer catch-up done. To your scattered bodies go.

P.S. Did we miss something? Have your own thoughts? Bring that noise below.