It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck, the podcast that must warn you: it’s Weekend Justice.
Written by: Joe Stillman
Directed by: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad & Marcos Martinez
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Justin Long, Jessica Biel, Gary Oldman, Seann William Scott, John Cleese
My Advice: Not just no, but hell no.
It’s a lovely place to build a home and raise a family. There’s classic music, there’s good wholesome values and as long as you can deal with alien dogs that pee acid, you’re fine. Of course, what ruins everything is the arrival of one of those pesky humans in the form of Chuck Baker (Johnson), who is no doubt, being an alien, the vanguard of an alien force. Baker must be found and turned over to the government before it’s too late. The only person…um, yeah, sure, person…standing in the way is Lem (Long), a kid who has dreams of working at the local observatory.
The shame is that I was perfectly willing to go along with this quirky alien-to-us world. The alien dog peeing acid thing was amusing (the last scatalogical joke in the film to be funny, in fact), the animation and character designs were decent enough and the setup was funny. Then the actual plot of the film started. The astronaut shows up and quickly sets back–about ten years–the opinion of NASA in the minds of those with single digit ages. Now I know that astronauts probably have some ego–that’s to be expected when you’re chosen to be part of a small elite cadre that the U.S. government will spend billions on to light a fire under your ass and send you off-planet–but I certainly hope they’re not the smug, cowardly, self-centered pricks that Baker makes us think they are. I’d ask Buzz Aldrin but he might punch me.
So Coraline looks like it’s going to come out ahead of the abysmal looking Pink Panther 2–which is good. Were it to be otherwise, I would have pushed this giant red button and blown up the world. Because let’s face it: when fake Clouseau beats Gaiman and Selick, then we need to just turn it all over to the roaches. In fact, I think that’s what happened to the ancient lost civilizations of South America. They had their own version of the live action Alvin and the Chipmunks movie which grossed some obscene amount of coin and then somebody said: “Oh forget it. Fuck this.” And overnight, their world was gone.
Cautionary tale, that. Anyway, all of that said, here’s a great bit from Jimmy Kimmel where John Cleese came on the show to promote that wretched sequel. The majority of the clip is fantastic, since he’s talking trash about the other Pythons and then relating a story about when he and Graham used to write for Peter Sellers. Then you can turn it off when they show the clip from the new movie.
Update: The clip has been made private, so here’s where you can still find it.
In the sort of smart move that we could only attribute to some of the funniest men in on the planet, Monty Python has launched its own YouTube channel and will be replacing “crap quality videos” with high quality ones. All they ask in return is that you buy their stuff.
I would like a commentary on the Captain America movie with the cast of this and the 1990 feature film. Just because.
John Cleese appears on The Dick Cavett Show to promote Life of Brian as well as discuss Python in general. Excellent interview. Some of the things, like the origin of the “Flying Circus” name, I’m sure you’ve heard before–but it’s still worth hearing and Cavett’s pretty damn funny, too.
John Cleese is divorcing his third wife, and he says “It’s going to be very, very expensive, but it will be worth every penny.” Hell yes, it’s going to be expensive: he was ordered to pay his wife Â£77,500 a month. For those keeping up with exchange rates and our dollar woes on this side of the pond, that’s $4.7 million in American dollars. If you round up.
Now wouldn’t you hate to be the lawyer who has to deal with Cleese in court? I’m not saying this because he’s Basil Fawlty or any number of hardasses in various Python sketches. I’m saying that because he strikes me as not only witty as hell but smart as hell as well. I love this bit from where his wife’s lawyer stated that she’s got, essentially, nothing at all to live on: “Mr Cleese countered by saying he was ‘puzzled’ that she could afford to stay in a Â£600-a-night room at the Carlyle Hotel in New York if she were broke.”
Nice. Well, you would think comedians would know better after Dr. Murphy’s treatise on marriage back in 1987. I’m just saying.