Planet 51 (2009) – Movie Review

Planet 51 movie poster

Written by: Joe Stillman
Directed by: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad & Marcos Martinez
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Justin Long, Jessica Biel, Gary Oldman, Seann William Scott, John Cleese

My Advice: Not just no, but hell no.

It’s a lovely place to build a home and raise a family. There’s classic music, there’s good wholesome values and as long as you can deal with alien dogs that pee acid, you’re fine. Of course, what ruins everything is the arrival of one of those pesky humans in the form of Chuck Baker (Johnson), who is no doubt, being an alien, the vanguard of an alien force. Baker must be found and turned over to the government before it’s too late. The only person…um, yeah, sure, person…standing in the way is Lem (Long), a kid who has dreams of working at the local observatory.

The shame is that I was perfectly willing to go along with this quirky alien-to-us world. The alien dog peeing acid thing was amusing (the last scatalogical joke in the film to be funny, in fact), the animation and character designs were decent enough and the setup was funny. Then the actual plot of the film started. The astronaut shows up and quickly sets back–about ten years–the opinion of NASA in the minds of those with single digit ages. Now I know that astronauts probably have some ego–that’s to be expected when you’re chosen to be part of a small elite cadre that the U.S. government will spend billions on to light a fire under your ass and send you off-planet–but I certainly hope they’re not the smug, cowardly, self-centered pricks that Baker makes us think they are. I’d ask Buzz Aldrin but he might punch me.

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By | 2017-09-24T22:56:58+00:00 November 28th, 2009|Movie Reviews|3 Comments

John Cleese on Python and The Panther

John Cleese

So Coraline looks like it’s going to come out ahead of the abysmal looking Pink Panther 2–which is good. Were it to be otherwise, I would have pushed this giant red button and blown up the world. Because let’s face it: when fake Clouseau beats Gaiman and Selick, then we need to just turn it all over to the roaches. In fact, I think that’s what happened to the ancient lost civilizations of South America. They had their own version of the live action Alvin and the Chipmunks movie which grossed some obscene amount of coin and then somebody said: “Oh forget it. Fuck this.” And overnight, their world was gone.

Cautionary tale, that. Anyway, all of that said, here’s a great bit from Jimmy Kimmel where John Cleese came on the show to promote that wretched sequel. The majority of the clip is fantastic, since he’s talking trash about the other Pythons and then relating a story about when he and Graham used to write for Peter Sellers. Then you can turn it off when they show the clip from the new movie.

Update: The clip has been made private, so here’s where you can still find it.

Found via Chortle.

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By | 2017-09-24T23:06:02+00:00 February 8th, 2009|Stimuli|0 Comments

Stuff You Need to Know, Tuesday, September 30, 2008

  • Marvel has signed a deal with Paramount to distribute their next five films. This after they, you know, didn’t do too shabby working together on Iron Man. The films included? Iron Man 2 (May 7, 2010); Thor (July 16, 2010); the needlessly long-titled The First Avenger: Captain America (May 6, 2011); The Avengers (July 15, 2011); Iron Man 3 (TBA).

    I would like a commentary on the Captain America movie with the cast of this and the 1990 feature film. Just because.

    Direct link for the feedreaders.

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:12:13+00:00 September 30th, 2008|Stuff You Need to Know|2 Comments

    Stuff You Need to Know: Tomorrowland, the Movie of Tomorrow!

    Tomorrowland
  • Tomorrowland is going to be adapted into a motion picture, according to Variety. That’s right, not a theme park ride–but an entire theme park section–is going to be made into a film. The star? Dwayne Johnson. However, “Disney denies the film has been titled ‘Tomorrowland’ or is dedicated to the park’s section.” So basically by denying this, Disney has just stated they’re working on a generic sci-fi project. I think it should be about a theme park being attacked by the world’s weather and call it The Day After Tomorrowland. I know, the joke’s bad, but you’d see that before you’d see Untitled Disney Sci-Fi Project Starring The Rock, wouldn’t you?
  • Priscilla, Queen of the Desert is yet another movie becoming a musical. It starts in the West End in March, even though it stated in Sydney back in 2006. It was adapted for the stage by Stephan Elliott, who brought it to the screen in the first place. I wonder how many other movies-now-musicals are out there, just shambling towards Broadway. Here, have a taste, just because:

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  • By | 2017-09-24T23:12:55+00:00 September 18th, 2008|Stuff You Need to Know|0 Comments

    John Cleese on The Dick Cavett Show: Dangerously Lunatic Ideas

    John Cleese in Life of Brian

    John Cleese appears on The Dick Cavett Show to promote Life of Brian as well as discuss Python in general. Excellent interview. Some of the things, like the origin of the “Flying Circus” name, I’m sure you’ve heard before–but it’s still worth hearing and Cavett’s pretty damn funny, too.

    Direct link for the feedreaders.

    Found via Classic Television Showbiz.
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    By | 2017-09-24T23:12:58+00:00 September 16th, 2008|Stimuli|0 Comments

    John Cleese Divorce Pricey, But Satisfying

    John Cleese and friends from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

    John Cleese is divorcing his third wife, and he says “It’s going to be very, very expensive, but it will be worth every penny.” Hell yes, it’s going to be expensive: he was ordered to pay his wife £77,500 a month. For those keeping up with exchange rates and our dollar woes on this side of the pond, that’s $4.7 million in American dollars. If you round up.

    Now wouldn’t you hate to be the lawyer who has to deal with Cleese in court? I’m not saying this because he’s Basil Fawlty or any number of hardasses in various Python sketches. I’m saying that because he strikes me as not only witty as hell but smart as hell as well. I love this bit from where his wife’s lawyer stated that she’s got, essentially, nothing at all to live on: “Mr Cleese countered by saying he was ‘puzzled’ that she could afford to stay in a £600-a-night room at the Carlyle Hotel in New York if she were broke.”

    Nice. Well, you would think comedians would know better after Dr. Murphy’s treatise on marriage back in 1987. I’m just saying.

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    By | 2017-09-24T23:19:06+00:00 May 16th, 2008|Stimuli|0 Comments