It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck…we continue to claw out of the 2015 archive. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. No trains have run through here in a long time.
It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck…the podcast that for weeks read the title Batman V Superman as “Batman Five Superman.”
(Widge’s Note: Sorry for the delay on this one, I’m in deadline hell and having to work on this when the files I’m editing are busy saving and whatnot. So consider this our Christmas and New Year’s special. The Outtakes episode will follow and we will resume in a bit.)
It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck, the podcast that is like a fruitcake in that it’s not pleasant if you ingest it and it lasts for years.
It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck, the podcast that wishes it had a novelty lunchbox designed in its honor. We’re just saying.
Due to Mephistopheles, the evildoer, transplanting me to a new state (Alabama) because of work, I have been quite busy and unable to contribute to the bastion of pop culture that is Need Coffee. But fret no more, dear friends: I have returned with a new segment in which I try things that (should) give me cause for worry and concern. But I overlook these fears in order to provide information for the masses; such is my duty to humanity. For the first in these discussions I decided to focus on something local to Birmingham, in order to thwart Mephistopheles’ plot.
A fringe benefit of my new locale is I am in a college-saturated area. While this causes problems in some cases, it does tend to create a market for two things the college student must have in their natural habitat: dollar menu food items and dollar margaritas. McDonald’s has decided to exploit this need (the first one…not the one about the margaritas), and utilize Birmingham, Tuscaloosa and the surrounding areas as a test market for a new sandwich: the McCruncher. McDonald’s advertises that this sandwich is the standard hamburger with white cheddar cheese, onion straws and chipotle ranch. Sounds appetizing enough, right? Rather than pedantically examining the name itself, I decided to just go for it and try one.
We’ve got one of these shirts in an XL flavor for the taking. Want to win it? Excellent. Here’s how that happens: you enter using the form below. Remember you can enter once a day. If we draw your name when the contest ends, you snag it! Good luck!
It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. It’s the podcast that goes shopping for sex toys at 2pm in the afternoon over a long lunch and just doesn’t give a damn. So this podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.
For this year, we start off this day’s worth of mad advertising with the maddest of them all: the legendary Crazy Eddie. Let’s consider Crazy Eddie for a moment: this was a guy who had regional electronics ads that were so memorable, that I had heard about him years before I ever saw one of these things. Let’s consider something else for a moment: I swear I saw those hybrid rein-pig-deers on an episode of Eleventh Hour…
So poeTV pointed out this original Tetris commercial, which offered you the option of being Tetricized. Which just sounds perverse. I especially love the introduction of the various shapes for people who, like me, were educated in Alabama. Very kind of them.
Watching this got me thinking…what about all of my other favorite games of yore? What commercials did they have? Would I remember them? Did I have a childhood at all and was it all implanted memories as it was recently revealed I am just a walking NASA experiment?
Well, we can take some comfort in the fact that decaf isn’t really decaf. That’s the word from Consumer Reports, who sent ninjas to buy coffee from six places in Yonkers. And the word is that your decaf is still semicaf. There’s always something in there, even if it’s less than 5mg. But one cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee was found to have 32mg of caffeine in it.
This is good news for people who feel like they are cheating their bodies of the life-giving substance, but bad news if you really, really are sensitive to caffeine. Good news is that McDonald’s had consistently 5mg of caffeine in their decaf. Or you could just squeeze out a black magic marker into a cup of warm water. Whatever works for you.
Just remember: death, taxes and caffeine. You can’t avoid any of them, but at least one of them makes you happy.