PLEASE NOTE: “As an Amazon Associate, [Need Coffee] earns from qualifying purchases." You know we make money from Amazon links,
and I know you know this, but they make us say it anyway. More info, click here.

The Return of the Crucifix Shotgun

Well, from Defamer comes some distressing news: I Am Legend is currently set to be helmed by Francis Lawrence, the same man who brought you Constantine. And a dark-headed Los Angeles-based Constantine. With a shotgun. Shaped like a crucifix.

So now he grabs this project, and if the last draft of the script I read is any indication, it will devolve into a testosterone-laiden festival of guns by the final reel. Doc and I have conferred and we’ve decided the only hope is to follow our (admittedly out of date) DreamCast and put Gibson (introverted, actual actor Gibson, not action hero Gibson) in the lead role with Darren Aronofsky to direct. I know we said Ridley Scott, but we’ve changed our minds.

That, or do the sensible thing and give the rights to the Brits to shoot in London and put Gary Oldman in the lead. Chew on that.

But since none of that will ever happen and the movie has a 99.7% chance of sucking dead donkey ass, we strongly recommend you read the book instead and let’s just ignore the project from here on out, agreed?