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Nursing Home Staff Refuses to Halt Rampage of Death-Bringing Cat

Oscar the Cat, Doombringer

The cat’s name is Oscar. And, oh, I know he looks all cute and fluffy and whatnot. But he is a cold-blooded killer.

“Oscar has been at the bedside of more than 25 residents shortly before they died, according to Dr. David Dosa of Brown University in Providence.”

And if he was anything but a cat, that would make him a prime suspect. There would be Law & Order episodes based on his story–“ripped from the headlines.”

But oh no, being a cat, he gets away clean every time. Absolutely diabolical, I tell you. Death used to look like a young Robert Redford, but now…he looks like Oscar. Study that kitty face. Your life could depend on it.