We’ve all grown with Christmas commercials. And some people try to tinkle on everybody’s parade by going on and on about how Christmas is too commercialized and it’s just a ruse to get everybody to spend lots of money on other people, most of which they can’t really stand.
And…well, they’re right. But some of us have accepted that and gotten over it. In fact, we rather enjoy it. So you can go pretend to have your spiritually nuturing holiday season over there. Over here we’re going to get our retro geek capitalist fix.
Thus, our Top 10 list of Christmas Commercials. Enjoy.
10. Anytime you can have John Houseman acting opposite an animatronic toy, you’ve got gold:
Update: Sadly, the Teddy Ruxpin/John Houseman commercial has been taken down. If somebody finds it again, please let me know.
9. As for this next one, who knew that Neil Gaiman‘s inspiration for Stardust came from 1987?
8. “Happy Holidays from Atari. This game was about the only way we could come with a more terrible idea than Swordquest and Atari Force.”
7. While this next commercial is not in English, it does put forward a universal message of hope and salvation for all mankind. Update: This new version is in English.
6. Okay, here’s a question: pay close attention to the initials used in this next one. Wouldn’t you have, I dunno, picked different ones?
5. It’s the famous mistletoe commercial. Awww.
Wait. No, sorry. That wasn’t it. It was this mistletoe commercial, where a young man learns that women will use their evil wiles to get what they want from you. Oh, sure it starts with kisses and Coke. But. Just wait, kid. Just. You. Wait.
4. Tis the season to share your cereal so your sidekick doesn’t have to go to ridiculous lengths to try and have some. I mean, honestly, Fred, not to sound like a speciesist but it’s not like he’s the Trix rabbit or anything.
3. Cutest little girl in a Christmas commercial ever. You cannot argue.
2. Watch in this classic commercial how the mother wakes up thinking, “Who the fuck is downstairs making coffee at this hour?”
1. This one needs no introduction. And it’s easy to see why it’s #1. Because now that I’ve implanted it in your head again, it’ll take another 26 years for it to leave once more.
Okay, so…which of your favorites did we miss?