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Bulletin from the Ministry of Naughty Bits: News Quickies

Naughty Bits Seal 100
There’s a lot of sexy content floating about. I got these little news items and reviews and I didn’t want to try to fill out whole posts on them. So I figured I’d make one big thick post. Just think of it as little nibbles to your favorite area.

Happy Old Guy

First off, we have a story of a 93 year old man being busted for soliciting a prostitute. Not exactly the image the makers of Viagra are trying to project. However, the police decide to make themselves look like they’re enforcing the law equally at the expense of one horny nonagenarian. I’m sure all the black men who own nice cars can breathe easier. Shame on the police. Shame.

Women trying to become virgins again. What the fuck? Seriously, I’ve never understood the fascination. The only reasons I can see is avoiding STDs and making sure the girl doesn’t know what a shitty lover you are. I swear, these abstinence-only Jesus freaks are turning virginity into a sick fetish. Look, if your first time was bad, work to make sure your second or third or 500th time is better. Don’t succumb to this virginity cult and especially don’t spend $5,000 to surgically reseal your package.

Guys recovering after park sex

Amsterdam is going to allow sex in the their city parks You have got to love the Netherlands. You can put your sick grandmother out of her misery, smoke some pot, and then call on your friendly local sex worker. And now you can cruise the park for some nasty sex in the bushes. But always make sure to wear clothing that can handle both grass and ‘protein’ stains and make sure to check your underwear for leaves.

Finally, a geek’s wet dream. Now you can have sex with an alien. Actually, an alien sex doll. Of course, this erotic invader has three breasts and unusually placed orifices. Be warned, the link will take you to a sex toy shop and the cover art for this plastic fantastic lover leaves nothing to the imagination.

1 comment

  • If you’ve reached 93, then you either have the best defense in court ever, or frankly you deserve some free sex. Or at least discounted sex. When you can get a discount on coffee but not on sex…what is this country coming to?