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Inappropriate Toys For An Evil Genius

The latest “How hard is it to rob a bank?” toy has come out. Playskool has released KOTA the Triceratops to win the hearts of dinosaur loving children everywhere and remind parents that the toys they grew up with were pieces of shit. Look what this thing can do.

Always enjoying attention, KOTA will roar back to you when you speak to him. When you touch the triceratops, KOTA will move his head, tail, and horns in appreciation. Your triceratops will even let out a friendly dino roar! Included with KOTA The Triceratops are “leafy greens” that are used to feed KOTA. Simply move the green towards KOTA’s mouth and he will begin making munching sounds.

Here’s a video of KOTA in action.

Direct link for the feedreaders.


triceratops toy

When I showed this to Joseph, the Toddler of Techno-Terror, he wasn’t impressed. All I got was a “Meh”. After a moment, I realized my mistake. KOTA is too cute with its plush hide and ‘adventure songs’. The roar is just weak. A roar from a dinosaur should go straight through to your hindbrain and make you run in terror. The horns are way too blunt. You can’t pin someone like a butterfly on display with those. And worse of all, it’s a herbivore. How can you threaten to feed someone to your dinosaur when all it wants is a salad? I think Joseph will pass on KOTA and be riding a T. Rex when he’s old enough to take care of a pet. And extract DNA from a mosquito trapped in amber.

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