Russell Brand has always had our support. We wanted to introduce our non-UK readers to him. We offered him sanctuary in his time of trouble, launching Americans For Ross and Brand. We think he’s a funny, funny guy.
And this is how he repays us.
By deciding to develop a remake of Arthur at Warner Brothers–the same studio who hasn’t been able to release a goddamned widescreen DVD of the thing. He wants to remake my #1 favorite movie of all time.
Therefore it is with all due respect that I say, to Russell, after taking a long deep breath and counting to ten…
“What the fuck are you thinking? Are you out of your fucking mind? It’s Dudley Moore’s signature movie role! How are you going to even touch that? Who in the hell is going to have the balls to follow in Gielgud’s shoes as Hobson? Russell, for fuck’s sake, man, take any other comedy but that one. Why have you stabbed me right in the fucking heart? GAHHHH!!!!”
They say there’s no atheists in foxholes? Well, there’s no atheists staring down the barrel of an Arthur remake at least. Dear Baby Jesus: I don’t believe in you–no offense meant–but just to help me until the sedatives kick in, would you humor me and please talk some sense into Russell Brand? Maybe talk to him through his hair, since he thought it could be used for an alien communication device anyway. Thank you.
First, Widge gimme’ the gun… now the OTHER gun… okay.
Next, where is he!? Let me at him!!
WTF is wrong with Hollywood? Why is there this need to remake every friggin thing? I get it that if you already have a popular story that there is ‘bank’ in it… I get it. But, come on! The millions of out of work writers we have in the world and we can’t get an original idea down on film? It’s not so much that they are remaking a perfect film, its that they can’t think of something/anything new.
In an unrelated story… I can’t wait for the remake of ‘They Live’.
Jon: Well, the Law of Relative Development says that there will be a remake in development for every film ever made. And for the most part, remakes are not inherently bad by themselves. I think you CAN successfully remake most films–because if you think about it, theatrical productions remake themselves every performance. Then you get something like the new stage production of Sweeney Todd or a modern dress Hamlet–and people (well, some people do) don’t go batshit when they hear about it. It’s a new interpretation is all. But couple Hollywood’s seeming inability to consistently put out good NEW material much less REMADE material that holds a candle to the original + an incredibly funny film that you simply can’t imagine anybody else stepping into the roles of and there’s fear and loathing all around. You know, the new ARTHUR might be incredible. It might be Brand’s breakout role. It might give somebody another Oscar. But mostly I think the odds are good it won’t actually go into production and if it does, it’ll be nominally funny (because Brand at his worst is pretty goddamn funny). And in retrospect, we should be glad it’s not an Adam Sandler vehicle, right? But the main thing, we shouldn’t HAVE to settle for crap. And in Hollywood’s hands, a lot of things are.
Okay, ramble ends.