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Brawndo - Drink Review
Posted on 01.17.08 by Widge @ 10:10 pm
Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator

It's sort of hard to go wrong when reviewing a drink like Brawndo. First of all, it's a joke drink based on a film that hardly anyone watched. By extension, a drink that's hard to take seriously isn't really going to have a review that should be taken seriously. And second, when the "commercial" for the drink states that it tastes like copulating with a semi, well, it's set the drinker's expectations low enough where if it lives up to its claim, well, can you blame the reviewer for saying the advertising was true?

Of course, one would have to admit to knowing what making love to a semi truck would taste like in the first place in order to state that the comparison was accurate, but that's something we shan't think much on.

I was afraid that the drink would, in fact, taste as promised. Especially since it sports sucralose, which, if you've been reading this site for any length of time, you know I believe in all honesty is the seed of Satan. Anyway, the drink itself is greenish, and it tastes citrusy-limey and not actually unpleasant. The sucralose is there but the terrible aftertaste of the stuff is tempered enough that this is the first sucralose-sweetened energy drink I've actually finished. So that's pretty high praise. Most of them just get poured down the drain after two sips they're so damn nasty.
[[ Review concludes ]]

Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
Comments: 4 Comments




Monkey Tea, Monkey Do
Posted on 01.10.08 by ScottC @ 10:48 am
Monkey drinking tea

Here at Needcoffee, we do not make any judgments on anyone else's caffeine delivery system. Widge's is primarily coffee while I drink a lot of Diet Coke. Of course we are on the lookout for new and novel ways to get that miracle molecule into our bodies. Well, Thinkgeek is now selling tea. Tea, you say, that's been around for centuries. Ah, but this tea has been hand picked (or paw picked) by monkeys.

Yes, this oolong tea is picked by monkeys trained by Chinese monks, so you know its chock full of fu. Of course, the package called it antioxidants but we know the truth. I would suggest picking up some now because Dindrane is talking about sending agents of the Glorious Revolution to help the monkeys form a union.

[[ More monkeyshines ]]

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Premium Cola: I Thought They Were an Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune...
Posted on 12.06.07 by Widge @ 6:28 am
Premium Cola

What is Premium Cola? It's a cola in Germany that split off from Afri-Cola, which had changed their recipe (presumably to "New Afri-Cola"), and these cola secessionists wanted the good old stuff (which Afri-Cola came back and did, presumably "Afri-Cola Classic"). And check this out, from The Consumerist:

There's no salaries, no office, and no bosses, per se. All decisions are made equally by members of the cola collective. The drink is only sold to select locations in accord with the Premium Cola ideologies.

As an aside. "The Cola Collective?" That sounds like Kool-Aid Man's version of the Legion of Doom, doesn't it?

That's not all, though. Get the full skinnee on them here.

And you thought 7UP was the un-cola.

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Scientists Discover Proto-Yoo-Hoos in Honduras
Posted on 11.14.07 by Widge @ 9:48 pm
Chocolate drink

Scientists have taken the date at which known chocolate drinks were being imbibed in Central America and pushed it back about 500 years. They apparently studied some pottery bits from around 1100 BCE...

Residue from the pots contained theobromine, which occurs in the cacao plant and is the source of chocolate, the researchers said in Monday's online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Read the full article here.

Also published were findings that the discovery of Nutrasweet and Splenda doubtless caused the collapse of the Mayan civilization.

That last part might be awaiting...cough...peer review.

Image: Kakawa Chocolates.

(more...)

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Dark Dog Energy Drink Review
Posted on 09.02.07 by Widge @ 12:00 am

Dark Dog Energy Drink in a can! Dark Dog Energy Drink in a bottle!

Dark Dog Energy Drink is yet another drink that comes in an 8.3 fluid ounce can (although pictured you can also see the limited edition aluminum bottle they sent as well--nifty). As you can see from the Dark Dog website, they also have varying containers beyond that, though, which is interesting. How many energy drinks come in a 1.5 liter bottle? Answer: not enough.

[[ Review continues... ]]

Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
Comments: 2 Comments



Diet Mountain Dew Has Surprising Ad
Posted on 08.24.07 by Widge @ 2:12 pm

Plenty of surprises here. The fact the vid is amusing enough for me to post, even though it's for a diet drink--that's a surprise.

Of course, what they don't tell you is that the little critter's innate evil has been amped up by drinking diet soft drinks in first place. I mean, honestly, the guy in the suit is the supplier. Think about it. Surprise!

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Found via VideoSift.

(more...)

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Needcoffee Presents Chazz in a Can?
Posted on 08.15.07 by Widge @ 2:58 am

Custom label energy drink from Pinnacle

Okay, Energy Fiend posted how to make an energy drink in seven easy steps.

Did you know that there are services that will slap your custom label on their energy drink can? I did not.

This is really, really tempting.

Of course, if I were to create Chazz in a Can, or whatever the hell it would be called, would anybody buy it? If you have thoughts, share them here.

(more...)

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Rockstar Juiced Pomegranate - 27 Second Review
Posted on 08.11.07 by Widge @ 7:25 pm

Rockstar Juiced Pomegranate, laced with evil sucralose

Review: Party like a rockstar, sure, but only if your idea of a party involves a sucralose-laced drink that tastes like somebody took all the flavoring you would expect from a pomegranate Dum-Dum lollipop and then melted it down with some low-grade plastic. This drink might be 50% juice and 100% energy, but it's 125% undrinkable. Two decent sized sips, then the rest went into the sink.

Time: 18 seconds.

(more...)

Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
Comments: None



Playboy Energy Drink: Why Party Like a Rockstar When You Can Party Like El Hef?
Posted on 07.19.07 by Widge @ 8:16 pm
The Women of Starbucks from Playboy

Well, Playboy has been no stranger to the stimulant-loving demographic. After all, they have been stimulating men for decades. And, speaking as one of the three males on the planet who actually read the magazine part of the magazine, the articles and interviews are actually very interesting.

Now, BevBlog tells us that we will soon see a Playboy Energy Drink. They joke that the secret ingredient is Viagra, but we beg to differ: it's obviously a serious secret, but whatever it is, they had to lower Hef's supply of it during development of the drink. We know this because he did, after all, downsize from twenty-four girlfriends to just three.
(more...)

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Ice Cucumber Pepsi From Japan: The Quick Capsule Review
Posted on 06.29.07 by Widge @ 12:13 am

Somebody get this man a desk.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Found via The Consumerist.

(more...)

Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
Comments: None



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